Minggu, 18 Juli 2010

Deciding to be a Stay at Home Mom

There can be tons of reasons for deciding to be a stay at home mom. But most of all, a mother would always put her family's well-being and security before anyone else. Whether you are making this decision on any other basis or reason(s), our society has always looked upon it through a more controversial angle for professional women. In an era where women in the workforce are flourishing, many tend to think as to what could be the need to make the decision to be a stay at home mom? To this, I would like to add something my mother always used to say, "a mother's instincts will always empower all her decisions. Her desire to nurture her children and care for the family can never be overlooked. But this decision doesn't necessarily mean she's always going to be confined in the house all the time."

Of course making the switch could be a tough choice, as there are hundreds of things to consider. Her final decision will alter the family's financial situation. Everything pretty much boils down towards the financial responsibilities towards the entire family. How will you go about saving money on groceries? What about daycare, electricity bills, and living expenses? Obviously, every mom goes through the tormenting realization of "can we afford it". If this is how you feel as well and such issues bother you day and night, go through the article on helpful insights and suggestions before deciding to be a stay at home mom.

Matters to Consider

No mother (family) can make such a huge, life-altering decision in just one night. Don't get caught up in the stay at home moms vs working moms battle. And no matter which side you may be leaning towards, view these aspects beforehand.

Your Financial Situation after Quitting Job
Even a modest budget can make staying at home functional, but you and your spouse should carefully go over the family's finances. Scaling back on certain items, personal or around the house, can be manageable for some while it could invite issues for others. Monitor and write down all the spending done in an entire month. This will include bills, groceries, debt payments, daycare and shopping (holidays and birthdays). It is essential you keep financial planning in mind beforehand. Adjusting these payments into your planning and single income should also be worked out.

Your Personality at Home as Compared to Work
The idea of being at home, especially for working women could be more intimidating than anything else. And that's a natural, completely "OK" feeling. Being around kids all throughout the day can (sometimes) make you wish for independence, if only for couple of hours. Think over your emotional needs to yourself and towards your home. Deciding to be a stay at home mom comes with its own set of challenges and you have to realize if these elements outbalance the benefits for you.

Your Passion Towards Your Career
It takes people years till they can find that one job that's really close to their hearts, it is their life's passion. Or perhaps, you are bored with your work, are mentally and physically stressed and are hence choosing to be a stay at home mom. The latter actually can have an adverse effects for good parenting. No matter which falls as your reason to quit your job and make this switch, your need to look at your job and home together, in order to find which brings you the most satisfaction.

The Values of Your Family
Who knows, but deciding to be a stay at home mom could be your goal, which is quite admiring, but are you sure your spouse shares the same views? This is when you have to have an open and honest conversation with your spouse and the rest of the family members. The views of all the individuals who are involved in raising your kid(s) should be taken into consideration, to ensure you're making the right decision for yourself and the family as a whole.

Ways to Make it Work

Just for example, let's pretend that you are choosing to be a stay at home mom, there are few things you should know about. Look at this section in terms of advice and support to your bold decision (and sacrifice) for your family.

* Be proud of the decision you have made. Giving yourself up for the sake of your children, being involved in all the aspects of their lives and making countless sacrifices is really commendable.
* Financially, there may still be issues for some and there are tons of ways to save money. The first step is already taken from your side, now all you have to do is, collectively as a family, live that decision with conviction. You can also look into jobs for stay at home moms.
* Sometimes, you too may require a break from the house chores. In such a case, why not have a girls day out with your friends? As your kids will get older and more independent, you would find more and more time for yourself, which is required as you too should enjoy some time.
* Organizing and mapping out a routine in your life might keep you sane. Make calenders for appointments with doctor, dentist, PTA meetings and a perpetual one with birthdays and anniversaries. This will give you something to do, besides chores and keep kids on their schedule.
* Besides being a work at home mom, find something creative to do. There are tons of fun things to do, when you're bored or don't have much to do at home. Here's a list of hobbies, which you and your family can indulge in.

When it comes to deciding to be a stay at home mom, the world somehow seems ready to dish out their opinions. But the only people who can make the final choice are you and your spouse (partner). For many, the answer could be very easy, but I can understand how difficult it must be for some of you. Even though I am not a mother yet, I would see my mother (everyday), unhappy at times with her decision to go back to work. A mother's heart will always be torn between her responsibilities towards her children and her obligations towards providing them with a safer future.

By Sheetal Mandora


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