Myth Busted! Women are NOT more risk averse than men

I’ve been a member of NAFE (the National Association for Female Executives and Entrepreneurs) for about as long as I can remember and I love the articles in their members-only magazine.

In their Spring 2010 issue Betty Spence, PhD, the President of NAFE wrote a very interesting editorial titled, “When Women Hold the Purse Strings“. In the article, she demonstrates how one of the myths about women in business, that we’re more risk-averse than men, “has been busted in the wake of the recession.”

Dr. Spence goes on to explain that studies have now shown women actually don’t avoid risk, we just happen to manage it better than men (how many women already knew that?).

* According to a study by Hedge Fund Research, “Hedge funds managed by women from January 2000 through May 2009 returned 9 percent gains, compared to 5.8 percent for men.”
* Research from the University of Cologne, Germany has shown that women have a more measured investment style which results in strong performance over time. In fact, “even during the 2008 downward spiral, women lost half the money that men lost.”

Why is this? Dr. Spence believes “women simply don’t take the crazy gambles that men take.” The International Journal of Bank Marketing reports that “Women base investment decisions on detailed, comprehensive approaches, while men tend to simplify data and make decisions bases on one overall strategy.”

With this kind of information you’d think women would be quickly moving up the ranks in the area of financial management. Not so, according to Dr. Spence. “Last year women managed only 3 percent of the $1.9 trillion invested in hedge funds and made up only 10 percent of mutual fund managers, says the National Council for Research on Women.”

So if you’re female and your career passion is in finance, look for companies who put a specific emphasis on helping women succeed and pushing them into P&L management. And great place to start looking is at the NAFE annual list of Top 50 Companies for Executive Women.

~ Lisa Quast

careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy

 

Men and Women: Different But Equal

Which of our predispositions are we genetically born with and which do we learn from our environment? The nature-nurture debate is a hot-button topic.
When I was in college, I vehemently insisted that there were essentially no differences between men and women. “Different” to me meant “not capable of doing what men can do.”

I have a mature viewpoint now and appreciate the differences women bring to the world. We all have anecdotal evidence that we can use to form our opinions, but these could be biased, based on our experiences. I prefer to look at the straight science and ignore the political correctness of what I might find. It is what it is, and in my mind, that’s OK. Here are the basics:


(1) Science tells us that male and female fetuses are exposed to different hormones as they’re developing.

(2) Science tells us that women may have different interactions between the two hemispheres of the brain.

(3) Science tells us that men have a better ability to visualize a rotating object than women.

(4) Science tells us that men and women employ different hormones in reacting to stress.


To murk the dividing line between nature and nurture, researchers are finding that some genetically inherited traits may not be expressed. For instance, you may have the “shyness gene,” but if you grew up in a safe, favorable environment, you will not express it. If you grew up in a hostile environment, you would most likely be incapacitated by extreme shyness.

How much does nurture affect the differences between men and women? All we can say is that it plays a major role—and the interesting thing is, we can change nurture. We change the nurture component by changing our physical environment, our parenting, our social constraints, our stereotypes and our expectations. Girls who play sports learn to handle competition differently. Girls who see women heading up companies alter their expectations. Girls who see women holding political offices expand their horizons.

It’s OK to say men and women are different. We should take advantage of the differences and benefit from, you know the word, synergy. And for those differences we don’t like—the ones that were good 30,000 years ago—let’s change “nurture.”

Tip:  Women, because of (2) above, you can better decipher nonverbal clues. Remember this the next time you’re in a meeting. Observe the other players and realize you can glean information that many men cannot. And to be fair to the men reading this, you have advantages from that rotating-objects-in-your-head thing. Maybe you don’t need maps?

careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy

 

Show Me A Woman Who Doesn’t Feel Guilty And I’ll Show You A Man

Erica Jong hit the truth button with her guilt quote above. Of course, it’s probably not 100% true. There must be some men who feel as much guilt as women feel every day. But then, maybe not. That’s a research topic our government should look into.

For the guys who may be reading this, and may be asking, “What kind of things do women find to feel guilty about?” here are a few of the frequent culprits:
 

• I shouldn’t have eaten that cookie.
• I feel bad leaving Bobby with a babysitter.
• I didn’t make the bed.
• I didn’t have time to put in a load of laundry before work.
• My sales report was only 42 pages this month.
• And there was a typo.
• My inlaws are coming to dinner and I have no idea what I’m going to fix and I’m stuck in a boring management meeting and I’m wishing I would have asked my husband to pick up steaks on his way home and one of those gooey chocolate cakes (now I feel extra guilt for that thought)…

Guys, what do you think? Except for #2 above, I bet you’d say, “It doesn’t matter.”  Thank you guys. You’re right.  Most of the guilt we subject ourselves to can be reduced. We’d be better off. We’d probably even reduce our stress at the same time. And if we reduced stress . . .voila! …we’re told, we’d lose weight!

So let’s see, just because I love science, and I’m a guilt-ridden woman, I hypothesize that if every time we feel guilty, we consciously reduce the amount of guilt, we will consequently lose an equal amount of weight! Well, I guess we can believe that if we believe some foods are fat-burners, and that the best fat-burner perhaps is chocolate. 

I think the main reason women feel more guilt than men is because we’ve been taught that women should not be selfish. We should nurture and see to the needs of others first. And, if there’s any time left, we can think about doing something selfish. But that’s not exactly true, because if you’re a good girl you should be able to think of something else that needs to be done for others—even if they’re not asking you. Why didn’t we ever question the word “should” as it was fed to us at every turn?

Well, you have your chance now. I’m not suggesting you reply with what the boys would have said, “Why me?  Why now?  Says who?  Make me!” Here’s my tip for the grown up girl.


Tip #1:  The next time you feel guilty, take a quick measure of it and decide to noticeably reduce the amount of guilt you feel. Look around you. Find someone you admire who doesn’t suffer as you do. See, it’s OK. Don’t you feel better? And how about the reduction of stress? That’s good too!
And this week I’m giving a second tip to help some working women.

Tip #2:  This one is for the working mothers who feel guilty when the nonworking mothers expect them to bake cookies for the children’s classroom. Convince their dad that it’s his turn to bring in the cookies and help in the classroom. I know from experience that it takes a little shoving, but the dads actually enjoy it when they get there and you know the kids get excited about it too. And go ahead and let Dad pickup cookies at the store or bakery. I bet none of the other moms will give him a bad time.
Now, go out there and start reducing that burdensome guilt!

careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy

 

Women Are Secretaries And Men Are CEO’s?

“Men and women aren’t planets apart,

but their stereotypes sure are!”

—Nancy Clark

One of the situations that motivates me to keep on bloggin’ is that most working women are not promoted above mid-management positions. This is not what you would expect when 6 out of 10 college diplomas are awarded to women and half our workforce is now female. My goal is to convince each woman to think about why this is happening and to decide this won’t happen to her, and that she’ll do her best to alert other women.

My topic involves the types of jobs we usually see doled out to women. At another time I’ll cover the industries or fields where women are dominant and the ones where men are dominant.

Do current stereotypes lead us to picture women doing certain types of jobs and men doing completely different jobs? Do you associate a particular gender with these jobs?

* Secretary

* Cashier

* Receptionist

* Mid-level supervisor

Do you associate a different gender with these jobs?

* CEO

* Executive Vice President

* Chief Financial Officer

* Member of the Board of Directors

The big questions I want you to think about are:

* Do women choose these jobs because that’s what they want?

* Do women believe their choices are limited to approved categories?

* Are women taught that they should want to serve others in particular ways?

Do you think being a woman has anything to do with where you are now? Do you want to change things? Are you worried that attempting a change will be a strain for you? Well, it will take you out of your comfort zone, but picture successful end results, and you’ll be spurred on. It’ll be worth it!

It all starts with that first job. As one young woman told us at WomensMedia, “I’m not really a secretary. I have a degree in economics.” She was offered a job with the type of firm she longed to work for, but they told her she’d have to start as a secretary. “Did any men find themselves in this same situation?” I asked her. She told me one man did, but most of the recent college graduates offered secretarial positions were women. It’s obvious the women did not expect that their college diplomas would land them in secretarial positions. And, of course, they all thought, “This will only be temporary.” Why does this happen? Stereotyping is the main reason. We picture women filling these roles, and are usually surprised when men fill them.

Managers—both men and women (yes, recent studies show we’re guilty)—offer women these low-paying positions. It’s unfair, but easy on the budget. And you’re probably thinking now, “Hey, this must be part of the reason women make less money than men for full-time work.” and you’d be right. Poor, and right. Let’s start to make changes.

Now, here’s my Tip of the Week.

Tip:

Let’s say you’re offered a low-level, non-challenging job. State what your desired title is and ask if one is available. I advise women to state this more than once so others get the impression that you’re a woman who does not give up. If you believe you must take this job, ask if you can revisit the discussion of the other position in 6 months. After you start the job, email a memo to your boss mentioning that you appreciate that he, or she, agreed to another discussion (in 6 months) regarding the position you were looking for. Email is a good way to document when topics were discussed. Save your email. Speed up your promotion.

careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy

 

Double Standards For Men And Women?

Is She Too Strong? Too Pushy?


Instead of a lawsuit, I say shine a spotlight on double standards in the workplace. People will decide what’s not acceptable behavior. Public opinion brings rapid change, and that’s what I anticipate.
—Nancy Clark


In the Harvard Business Review, Nancy Nichols writes, “Women who attempt to fit themselves into a managerial role by acting like men . . . are forced to behave in a sexually dissonant way. They risk being characterized as ‘too aggressive,’ or worse, just plain ‘bitchy.’ Yet women who act like ladies, speaking indirectly and showing concern for others, risk being seen as ‘ineffective.’”

Women have been caught in a double bind. We’re not part of the #1 team in business—the men’s team. That’s the situation we have today. Let’s not bemoan it—that won’t give us progress. Let’s analyze it and see where we can carve away a few more steps. Kathleen Hall Jamieson tells us, “Binds draw their power from their capacity to simplify complexity. Faced with a complicated situation or behavior, the human tendency is to split apart and dichotomize its elements. So we contrast good and bad, strong and weak, for and against, true and false, and in so doing assume that a person can’t be both at once—or somewhere in between. Such distinctions are often useful. But when this tendency drives us to see life’s options or the choices available to women as polarities and irreconcilable opposites, those differences become troublesome.” Jamieson points out that over the years women have found new options to exercise, so don’t think of yourself as permanently shackled. She states, “Put simply, over time women have learned to turn potatoes into vichyssoise.”

When I’m asked about this problem, I say, “When you see double standards for men and women in action, all you need to do is bring attention to the matter—without anger. Most people will make their own judgment that this is unfair treatment. Those who don’t are not ready to change—this week.”

I don’t promote more laws and more lawsuits as the best way to proceed. Public opinion is ready to change en masse. Instead of a lawsuit, put a spotlight on double standards. Let people decide if this is acceptable behavior. Today we’re seeing that fathers and mothers are worried about sending their daughters out into a workplace that will disappoint them, year after year, with inequities.

Debra Meyerson of Stanford University tells us that if you want to make an effort to change the use of double standards, you have to speak up. For instance, “Jack and Mary both have clients who like them. Jack is arrogant and all you do is laugh about it. But Mary is not nearly as arrogant, yet you criticize her when she does any self-promoting. Why does he get higher marks at promotion time? Doesn’t this look like we’re using double standards? Is this fair?”

Tip:  Over the next week, look for instances of double standards being used for men and women in your workplace. Point out the problem without anger if possible. It’s very likely you can enlist a man to second this opinion. Honest, they’re out there ready to help!

careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy

Spain - Female Wages Trending Lower Than Male Counterparts

According to a content publicized by the Interior Revenue Agency in Spain regarding the Spanish labour market and pensions, an adult male earns and takes in wages which, on average are thirty percent higher than those of an adult female working in the same position. The average yearly earnings of men in 2004 equaled 17,964 euros, equated to 12,464 for women - a difference of 5,500 euros per year. If you multiply this sum by 40 (average number of years spent working) the total sum and earnings differential adds up to about a quarter of a million euros in an average workers lifetime.

The study identifies a marked difference in pay and suggests the reality is produced or at least attributed to the relatively recent internalization of women into the labour market in Spain. On a large scale of economic forgiveness, this and other similar studies suggest it is acceptable because it signifies females earn less because they've been working for fewer years. This may be quite factual in reality. Yet, the study further points out that a female lacks a sense of economic security and their jobs tend to be more at risk of loss or replacement than is the case of male employees. This may and may not trouble the women because as mothers living in an area whih places much emphasis on family, the female will tend to put their kids concerns ahead of their own professional evolution. Of course, this further contributes to the female inequality in the workplace and also says little for future career advancement. What appears to be a growing trend in Spain is the number of females in part time positions. The share of women working part time in Spain is higher than in any other EU member state.

The studies also spotlight the shortage of equal chances for women equated to men as far as professional promotion is concerned. Statistics present that fifty-eight percent of workers between eighteen and forty-five yrs old are men, and forty-two percent women, whereas for workers between forty-five and sixty-five, the deviation is much higher (over twenty percent). Not amazingly the content puts salaries in Spanish capital at the top end of the scale, followed by Ceuta, Melilla and Catalonia (of this amount about half of which is allocated and spent on housing). But whilst salaries trail others in Europe, the price of houses has doubled in price in the last decade, stimulated, in part, by exceedingly low interest rates and enhanced investment in real estate following the 2001 stock exchange collapse in addition to the influx of new and foreign investors. For land owners this is great news, but for those others trapped in tenancy it is more grim. As a result, workers and wage earners are dropping deeper into debt. And, Household indebtedness has climbed to a higher degree equaling around 110 percent of income and approaches US levels.

Affordable family holiday rentals make it easy to Holiday Spain. Companies such as Paramount Places are making special arrangements to offer holiday rentals which are both easy and affordable. Visit either of two company websites owned by this article's author, Steve Martin, to discover a new and affordable opportunity for family travel adventures.

www.womeninspain.com

careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy

Career Planning: Multiple Roles for Men and Women

Shift of frames in the present day society
Fortunately, the centuries of the sexual discrimination of women are almost left in the past. At the present moment the women not only have the electoral right, but can plan their careers as they wish. Almost all spheres are available for women and they can successfully combine making career with children rearing. In some families the men are working at home, while the women are the main bread winners. In other families the wife and the husband have equal incomes.
Men and women get accustomed to having multiple roles. The woman not realizing herself as a specialist is deprived of a significant part of life. That is why the girls are to do away with vestiges of the past and choose any profession they like. Despite the fact that the social prejudices concerning male and female professions still exist, the society frames are shifted. It allows the girls to make careers in politics, engineering or medicine.
Difficulties in combining family and professional responsibilities
Though the frames are shifted, the society is reluctant to part with remain of the past. The women are looking for the place under the sun, take pains proving something to the surrounding. At the same the men often refuse participating in the household chores. The division of the home work into the men's and women's responsibilities still exists in many families. It means that the struggle for the women's rights is continuing. The battlefields are often located in families and at work.
Nowadays it is senseless to choose the female profession that can be easily combined with the household chores. It is not obligatory to choose between family and career. The most important factors that are to be taken into consideration by men and women choosing one's occupation are
1.one's talents and abilities;
2.demand for specialists of this profession;
3.average salary.

careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy

Men and Women at Work: Can We All Get Along?

It may be true that men are from Mars and women from Venus. That doesn’t mean the two sexes can’t effectively work together here on Earth.

John Gray’s New York Times bestseller “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” was a lighthearted look at differences between the sexes. It seems silly that it took a book to figure this out. As if it wasn’t obvious enough. But Gray’s work helped men and women develop better communication skills by pointing out that they have varying emotional needs. And there’s no more important place to understand this reality than at the office.

Once the political correctness is pushed aside, it’s plain to see that women and men simply approach work differently. And it has nothing to do with qualifications. After more than 30 years of the women’s movement, the workplace has been filled with highly skilled and accomplished women, whose educations and backgrounds have been on par with their male counterparts. However, the overwhelming majority of senior and CEO jobs in corporate America still remain in the hands of men. While gender bias, mostly in a covert fashion, continues to play a role, some researchers feel that the difference can be attributed to how women and men approach work.

That key difference? Competitiveness. There are, of course, women who can be just as, if not more, competitive than men. But as a whole, workplace studies have found that men put in longer hours, endure more hardships, are apt to relocate, and are willing to sacrifice family obligations more than women. If those are indeed the conclusions, it seems that women have a much smarter and healthier approach to work, even if they don’t occupy as many corner offices.

The workplace hasn’t become an all-out, battle royal of the sexes. In most professions men and women have gotten used to working together. But it stands to reason that the contrasting styles can lead to a breakdown in communication, a vital component in any successful business. But not to fear, men and women are more alike than different. Some may find that hard to believe, but it’s actually possible to improve cross-gender communication and smooth out the rough edges.

If you’re a woman who has frequent interactions with a men at work, you will be overwhelming successful if you recognize one simple rule: men think differently. And with that knowledge comes power.

One of the first places to start is recognizing that men typically talk to get information. While women do the same, there’s the added component of personal interaction in their conversations. An easily recognizable example of this in everyday life is the phone conversation. Guys call other guys get relay information or set up meetings. It’s rare that a man will call another “just to chat.”

Another striking difference is that women tend to ask more questions than men. Women typically want more details and a deeper understanding of an issue. Men sometimes see excessive questioning as a weakness and want to give the impression that they already have the information they need and can carry out the task.

An obvious distinction is that men tend to have a looser tongue than women. Offhand comments that can be offensive filter out of men’s mouths more than women. Most of the time it’s not an effort to harass a female employee, but a lack of judgment in telling a sexual or offensive joke. If a woman faces this situation, it’s wise to evaluate it on its merits and intention before reacting.

Everyone knows that men hate asking for directions, and that can go way beyond the map. It’s on commercials, television shows and movies constantly. You have a lost couple, a woman imploring the man to ask for directions, and the man outright refusing. What’s that guy’s problem? It’s a sign of weakness and men just hate that. Women can’t understand this phenomenon because they’re more intuitive than men and have no problem asking for help. To deal with this touchy subject at work, women can approach this in an easy-going manner and offer a man help “if he feels he needs it.”

When men and woman want to convey trust either at work or in a relationship, they, not surprisingly, do it differently. A woman who shares her feelings with a male co-worker is displaying trust, while men look more toward consistency and reliability as a marker. Because it’s so important to create bonds at work, a woman can win points with a male co-worker just by simple things like showing up on time, following through on a project or troubleshooting a problem.

While getting along with a man at work may feel like tip-toeing through a minefield sometimes, the bottom line is to maintain a professional relationship. Understanding why the opposite sex acts and reacts the way it does will go a long way in bridging the cultural gap in the workplace.

www.resume-resource.com

careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy

 

Women Need To Ask!; Men Ask More, Men Get More

Nancy Clark

 OK women, we have a problem. We haven’t realized the magnitude of this problem yet. But as soon as each of you do, you’ll be eager to start making a small change in your behavior. I emphasize small change—you’ll find this quite doable.

OK—the problem. In business, men get more things than women—including money. Is it because male and female bosses favor men? Is it because they think men deserve more? No on both counts—it’s because men ask for more stuff—including money.

At WomensMedia we’ve heard women in their 20’s and 30’s say, “Oh, that’s a problem that older women have. That’s not a problem for us.” Wrong. In fact, Internet surveys show it’s slightly worse for younger women. So, no matter what your age group, you need to realize this problem affects you. The reason I’m blogging is because I don’t want you to be naïve and end up disappointed with the workplace. This can be avoided.

OK, next. Here’s one piece of evidence, among many that point to the same result. Linda Babcock, while a professor of economics at Carnegie Mellon University, wondered why male graduate students in her department were teaching courses of their own while female graduate students were acting as teaching assistants to the regular faculty. To her surprise, she discovered that the men went to the department head with a class proposal in hand and a budget request—the women didn’t. It was not a case of discrimination. It was a case of women being naïve as to how the game can be played.

To take her investigation one step further, Linda researched the starting salaries these men and women received after they completed graduate school. The starting salaries of the men were about $4,000 higher. When she asked who negotiated a salary, rather than accepting the initial offer, she had the answer to the big WHY. Eight—EIGHT— times as many men as women asked for more money. Now I know we can safely assume these were smart women who know their numbers—they completed graduate school, in economics no less.

That shows smart, well-educated women can be as naïve as the rest of us. Fortunately, the solution is quite doable. Up your rate of ASKING. Ask for more money of course, but also ask for things that will make your job easier, things that will boost your resume, things that will make your life more enjoyable—why not, while you’re at it? Start your list in these categories. And start asking.

Tip: Take the first step in changing your behavior by asking for something small that you want. It doesn’t have to be money. It can be paid attendance at a conference, a change in your office environment, a change in your job description, or something else that will make a difference to you. Be prepared to ask 3 times to establish the thought, “This is a woman who doesn’t give up.” This is necessary to overcome the stereotype that women back down more easily than men. Don’t admit it, but it’s true too often!

Make a Difference: After you’ve successfully received something you’ve asked for, pass the good idea along. Select a woman who deserves more than she’s receiving—because she’s not asking—and pass the idea along to her. Tell her that when she’s successful, she will feel as good as you feel passing this along.

careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy

The Gender Pay Gap--New Opportunities for Women

By Carol Berman


Many discoveries are made by mistake. Penicillin. Rubber. Even Post-it Notes.

Here's one more: unintended results from business school researchers have provided more insight into the decades-old discussion of why men earn more than women.

Kevin Clark and Patrick Maggitti of Villanova University and Holly Slay of Seattle University looked to research relationships among business networks. They were not targeting gender or potential impacts gender might have. But gender did have an impact in workplace relationships--an impact they could not ignore. Especially when the impact was on pay.

The State of Affairs

According to the Census Bureau, among full-time workers age 25 or older in 2007, women earned an average of $33,759 which was 24% less than the $46,788 average for men.

Are Men Better Brown-Nosers?

The group looked at the influence of relationships that are 360 degrees around an employee--superiors, peers, and subordinates. It found that men build stronger relationships in all three situations which lead to an increased wage gap between men and women. Researchers controlled for starting salaries, job level, and industry.

Relationships with subordinates had the greatest perceived impact on pay. In other words, if you connect with those below you, they will perform well, make you look good to your boss, and you get a raise. But this trail didn't exist for women.

"We speculate that in some cases, men that are bosses make stronger attachments to the male employees," said Maggitti. "You get along better with people who are similar. That's one potential explanation."

So it makes perfect sense when the men are talking about last night's game or the upcoming tee time at a fancy golf course, women don't necessarily fit in. And even if they can talk the talk, it's just not the same.

Good News for Women

The researchers did not want to cast more gloom and doom over the gender gap--an area that is squarely in public discourse at the moment. Instead, the researchers want their study to be used as a way to identify opportunities for women to rectify pay inequities. They suggest:

• Motivate and get to know your team: Maggitti and Clark acknowledge that women are better than men at establishing group consensus and managing teams. But that's only in studies and on paper. When it comes to managing subordinate networks, women need to improve.
• Find out what your friends know: Maggitti and Clark say women are aware of their work communities and groups but don't use peers in obtaining information to advance their careers. Women need to start thinking of it as opportunity to share company information related to the work at hand, rather than gossip.
• Influence your supervisor: Researchers suggest taking advantage of chance run-ins with the boss by having something ready to say. Yes, when your boss is a man, and you're a woman, you won't have those bathroom run-ins. There's always the hallway.

Next Steps

Like many academic studies, results often spark ideas for future research. The folks behind the study hope to revisit the gender of all the people involved in all workplace relationships--the bosses, the peers, and the subordinates; not just the person at the center. They want to look at the perception of the "old boys club" network--does it still exist? But in the meantime, they hope that women will recognize and create opportunities that may exist right now in the workplace.

careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy

Tips for Women Who Want to Work Well with Men

Written by John Gray, Ph.D.

John Gray, one of the world's foremost communication experts, offers 32 tips to help you understand, respect and benefit from the differences between women and men and how they operate, both in and out of the workplace. 1. When presenting a proposal or plan of action, talk less about the problem and more about what you think should be done. 2. Be direct when you make a request. Don't talk about a problem and wait for him to offer his support. Often men feel manipulated when women are not direct. It is as if he "should do it" without your having to ask. 3. Give him more space when he moans or groans. Don't give him a pat on the back. Avoid doing anything that demonstrates a feeling of motherly empathy. 4. Get to the point when making a suggestion. Avoid talking too much about problems. Remember, men hear sharing as complaining. 5. Only complain when you have a solution to suggest. Take less time to explain the problem and quickly move on to suggest a solution. 6. After asking for his advice, be careful not to correct his solution or explain in great detail why you are not going to follow his advice. By allowing him to save face, a woman gains points. 7. Give credit and recognition whenever he has achieved something. 8. In public build him up. If you want to point out a mistake or suggest a change, do it in private. 9. Graciously interrupt in a group meeting. Don't say, "Can I say something?" Instead, go with the flow and say something more friendly like, "That's true, I think . . ." 10. Use a relaxed and trusting tone of voice when discussing work problems. Men are repelled by the tone of being emotionally overwhelmed. 11. Stay focused on the task at hand and postpone the sharing of personal feelings. Keep your work life and personal life separate. 12. When asking for support, keep your emotions out of it and focus on stating what you want. Take time to justify your request if you are asked why you need more. 13. If you must complain to your manager or coworker, be objective and avoid making value judgments like, "It's not fair" or "He isn't doing his job." Instead say, "He was three hours late. I was the only one there to do a job that requires two people." 14. If there is too much being expected of you, ask for the support you need, but don't complain. He reasons, "Don't waste time complaining, instead do something to get the support you need." 15. When making a presentation or discussing something, don't be overly eager or automatically reassuring while listening. Let him feel that he is earning your agreement and support. 16. Pace yourself. After listening to a man, let him know that something is helpful before you bring up more issues or questions. 17. Share your experience to back up a request and don't quote an expert. For example, don't say, "John Gray says you should listen to me more . . . ." Instead say, "I would appreciate it if you would listen a little longer before responding." 18. Stay on schedule. Let a man know up front how long you expect a meeting to last. 19. Distance yourself. As a manager, depersonalize your directions with comments like, "We are expected to . . ." and then ask him to do what you want with a phrase like, "Would you . . ." or "Please . . ." 20. Shake hands. When a man comes into the room and you are sitting, stand up and shake hands as equals. 21. When stress increases, act as if everything is OK. Worrying or showing concern about him can be offensive. A more relaxed response demonstrates a level of trust that says, "I'm sure you can handle it." 22. If you are in a supportive role, rather than do everything in an invisible manner, sometimes ask in a friendly tone, "Would you like me to . . ." In this way, he realizes how much you do and can give you the points you deserve. 23. Don't ask a man how he feels about something; instead ask what he thinks about something. By appreciating his logic, you can score a point. 24. Introduce yourself. In a business setting in which many people are being introduced, introduce yourself so that the male host doesn't have to remember everyone's name and introduce each person. 25. When introducing a man to others, always include his accomplishments, expertise, or role in the company. 26. When you disagree or are challenged by others in a group meeting, stick to your argument and do not digress by sharing how you personally feel. Even if you have a better point, you may be discredited because of your emotional delivery. 27. If an argument has already become emotionally charged,gracefully find a way to take a break. Say something like, "Give me some time to think about this and then let's talk again." Overcome the temptation to say, "You're not being fair." or "You are not listening to me." "Excuse me for that outburst." also works well. 28. Don't take it personally. Recognize that most men don't like being told what to do. If your job requires that you give him instructions, to minimize the inevitable tension, prepare him by saying, "Is this a good time to review some changes?" or "Let's schedule a time when we can meet. I have some changes I need to convey." 29. Be clear about the tasks you want. When dividing up projects or tasks, state clearly which ones you want or prefer. Women don't get points from men for being uncertain and saying, "What do you want to do?" You get points for clarity if you know what you want and then even more points if you make a reasonable compromise. 30. Celebrate the completion of a long or important project. Men, and women, greatly appreciate special occasions to celebrate or recognize people and their contributions. Give awards, certificates, or presents. 31. If you don't have an answer or a solution, don't let on right away. Always appear confident. Avoid the phrase, "I am still working that one out." 32. Display your awards, certificates, and degrees on the walls of your office. Display pictures of you with successful people or involved with different work projects. If a man shows interest, describe your success with a tone of confidence. careers, Jobs Indonesia, Indonesia Vacancy