Tampilkan postingan dengan label wife. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label wife. Tampilkan semua postingan

Senin, 23 Agustus 2010

Wife, Mother, Professional Woman: The Real Multi-Tasking



I have always been impressed by women's ability to balance the many roles that they are expected to perform in modern society. I must confess, however, that although my experiences has broaden and my sophistication has peaked to new awareness, this phenomenon remains, for me, a social enigma. For this reason I have decided to examine some of the issues surrounding dual careers and how it relates to contemporary women.

The issues of involvement in multiple roles and multiples role strain have long been of interest to social scientists. In addition, these issues have always been central in discussions relating to women of increased labor force participation. For example, the media often features changing roles and alternative family styles, suggesting that fundamental changes in family dymanics are occurring. Most recently, this author had the opportunity to experience two media events of just this nature.

The first event was an article written by Anita Shreve entitled Career and the Lure of Motherhood, New York Times Magazine, November 21, 1982. In her article Ms. Shreve illustrates how many women in today's labor market must be able to juggle the roles of mother, wife and career-woman, and in many instances, that of a student. In essence, she is expected to be a superwoman. The sad part is that often these women are unhappy in their roles as part-time mother and part-time careerist. Too often, such a woman feels inadequate and unfulfilled in either role. These women are caught in what Ms. Shreve called the career-mothering dilemma. Successful career women often feel guilty about not meeting their family responsibilities. They worry, as they steal time for their family, that they are putting their careers in jeopardy. According to Ms. Shreve, these women feel that they are merely support player in the daily activities of their families. It is difficult to determine the toll such stress is having on this population of women; however, the cost to society may be high. Many of these women are employed in high-level positions, in private, as well as in the public sector, and they are a crucial member of today's nuclear family.

If the stress on this population becomes too great, both the nuclear family and the economic productivity of the nation could be seriously affected. Therefore, it is to everyone's benefit to resolve this double-bind. The main ingredient in reaching this goal is to recognize that career-women need understanding and a supportive partners as well as sympathetic employers.

The second event was a televised movie entitled Games Mother Never Taught You, aired November 27, 1982, 9:00 - 11:00 P.M., Ch. 2. In this movie, Ms. Loretta Swit played the leading role as a secretary promoted to a management position. She soon discovered that the stakes are for keeps in a corporate structure where the rules have been made by men. As it turned out, the one casuality of the game was her happy marrage to her husband, played by Mr. Sam Waterston, in the role as co-star. The message here is that women cannot have a successful career and a happy marrage simultaneously.

Contrary to the impression conveyed by the mass media, most American women expect to have a family, including children. At the same time, given the environment of an inflationary economy as well as the sense of autonomy and opportunity encouraged by the feminist movement, an increasing number of women will be combining parenthood with careers in the marketplace. However, to achieve their goal and make some kind of career commitment, many women are postponing parenthood.

While on the other hand, women who marry and immediately start their families are subsequently confronted by the issue of whether or when they should seek salaried employment. In both instances, whether their expectations of themselves are being enchanced by necessity or by choice, women are raising important questions about the sequence and timing of family and career. These questions challenge traditional conceptions of the substance and chronology of generativity as outlined by (Erik Erikson) in women's lives.

Just a few years ago, in mainstream America, a husband had career aspirations and his wife had housework. His strive for success in the corporate world while she stays at home to keep his personal (family) life in order, thereby facilitating his achievement. Occasionally, if she did work outside the home, it was usually on a temporary basis to meet a financial need, or to fill the void after the children were grown. The few women who actively pursued a career were considered selfish wives, inadequate mothers, and in some instances, disgrace to society. The professional woman who combines a professional career with family obligations is under a multiple role strain because she participates in two activity systems where the allocation of time and resources is a problem, and, also, because of the conflicting values that are always present ... her commitment to her career versus her responsibilities to her family. No clear guidelines are available for the individual career woman to follow. The ability to handle the role of wife, mother and career is still, for the most part, a matter of individual adaptation.

Additionally, the business world often presents its own unique pressures and problems. This is true primarily because the business world has not kept pace with the advent of the two career family and the life-styles they adopt to make their career and marriage work. In this society, one is expected to be single-minded and devote all the necessary time in pursuing a career. Many employers will not employ a person for less than full-time. However, if they do, they do not consider the person a full member of the organization. In addition, it is usually expected that the activities of other family members will be subordinated to those of the person pursuing a profession. Therefore, it is extremely difficult to have two fully-developed careers in the same family.

On the other hand, however, some five or ten years into their careers, couples tend to handle duel career conflicts differently. For example, when career needs conflict with family needs, many couples choose family goals over career goals. Experienced couples are more willing to examine alternatives and when necessary, accommodate their spouse. These couples are better able to plan and cope, and they are less reluctant to approach the company with their problems.


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Senin, 02 Agustus 2010

Career Tips: Information on midwife or doula

A Doula is a person, usually a woman, who assists another woman shortly before, during, and after labor. The word Doula comes from a Greek word and loosely translates to, “caretaker of women."

The decision to become a Doula is a personal one. It is one chosen out of love for other human beings, to help them in what is probably the most vulnerable time of their lives. Giving birth.

No matter how much research a woman does about the birth process, nothing can prepare a woman for the actual event. Though birth is a natural process, it remains to be scary for many women. It is a time when a woman can feel virtually helpless, and needs someone there on her side to look out for her.

I am not saying that the doctors, and nurses are not there to help the woman, but that these people have a greater job to do, than comfort the patient. They not only have to see to the care of the laboring woman, but also the shortly emerging baby.

This is where the Doula comes in. She is there for the mom-to-be. That is the Doula’s main concern. She is aware of many of the things that go on during birth, but her main concern is to make the woman as comfortable as possible during labor.

Many fathers are concerned that having a Doula will leave them out of the birthing process. Quite the contrary, the Doula wants the father to be as involved as possible. Men who have voiced this concern before the birth, have come back after the birth, and said just how much they appreciated the Doula being there. They felt less pressure on them, to do or say the right thing. The Doula lets them know that what they need to be doing. The Doula is there to help the mother when the father needs a break. Most fathers say that they would prefer a Doula at a future birth.

A Doula typically visits a couple of times before the baby is due to talk to the parents and answer any questions they may have about the birth. The Doula finds out what the mother expects from the birth (for example, if the mother wants to move around during labor, what kinds of measures the mother is comfortable with, etc.).

The Doula questions the mother about preferences she may have. A big question is whether the mother will want any type of medications for the labor, and if so, at what point she may want them.

The Doula does not tell the woman what she should do, but rather lets the mother/father be aware of options they may have. The Doula lets the mother make all the decisions she needs for her own birth and will support whatever decision the mother makes.

After the birth of the baby, the Doula helps the mother with breastfeeding if this is what the mother has chosen. She will stay after the birth as long as the mother needs or wants.

About a week or so after the baby arrives, the Doula meets with the mother/father to answer any questions they may have about the birth. Sometimes during labor, a laboring woman’s perceptions of time, or what was said, or what happened is slightly off due to the amount of concentration she had put into the birth. The mother/father and Doula can talk about what was done and why.

Mostly, the Doula reassures the woman that her birth experience was perfect for her. That she did what she thought was right for both her and her baby. Sometimes the birth doesn’t go exactly as planned in the beginning, and the mother feels as if she did something wrong. The Doula lets the woman know that the choices she made were correct and that her birth was a wonderful experience.

If you choose to be a Doula, you won't become financially rich, but you will become rich in every other way that counts. Being a Doula has to be one of the most fulfilling jobs there can be. How many miracles in life do you usually get to see? When you are a Doula, you get to see as many miracles as the births you attend.


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