The Best News Is The Ball Is In The Women’s Court!

We need a little visual imagery here, so I want you to picture a glass being slowly filled for you. At first, you’re thinking, “It’s almost empty! This isn’t fair! Oh come on, look at this sad situation.” At some point, the glass is half-full and chances are you, me, and others are still in the complaining mode. We haven’t realized it’s reached the Tipping Point—changing from half-empty to half-full.

Well, guess what? We’re at the Tipping Point for women in business today. Since graduating from Berkeley at the height of the women’s movement protests, I’ve been monitoring our slow, slow, progress. Always looking forward to the day when women are treated as well as men. Of course, there’s always something that ‘s not quite equal—and we can focus on this—and see ourselves as victims . . . still.

There’s a wonderful word “epiphany” that I recently went through when I realized we’ve passed the half-empty marker, men—young men— are no longer the enemy—they’re eager to be our allies. We women are smart and we’re used to working hard, we can multitask easily, we can use our feminine secret tool, intuition, to our advantage. Talent-wise, we’re as good as men in business. But, there’s one thing we haven’t yet grasped—and it’s a doozey:  We are our own worst enemy!

I’m not happy with this either, don’t get defensive, stay with me here. First, let me tell you how women are not helping other women. And then, let me tell you how you can make a small change each week to help yourself and to help other women. Malcolm Gladwell, in his book The Tipping Point, did a good job of shining a spotlight on how ideas can be grasped by groups of people where each person links to several others and, suddenly, so much faster than you’d ever imagine possible, you’ve reached the Tipping Point—and a massive social change has taken place.

Well, we’ve reached the Tipping Point for Women! We’re teetering there and now I’ll tell you how you, yes YOU, can do just 2 little things and we’ll be looking at a full glass sooner than you thought possible!

Obstacle Avoidance
Here are the 2 things. Most businesses were set up by men—thank-you guys. All of us are used to seeing the winning team—the men—perform in a particular way—and it’s not the way we women would have designed it. This alone sets up conditions for obstacles—everyday obstacles—that trip up only the second team—the women’s team.

I maintain that we women are smart. We can learn to handle, and even avoid, these obstacles. In fact, after 20 to 30 years of working, you’d discover a number of these on your own. But patience is not a virtue—don’t buy into that platitude—it’s a waste of time for you and for other women. I vow to do my best to help you by alerting you to a business obstacle every week and giving you a strategy to short-circuit it! They’re simple, and because they’ll make sense to you, you’ll remember them. These have been tested by our audience on the WomensMedia website where we get more than 1,000 emails a day detailing what’s worked for these hard-working businesswomen.

Treat Women Equal To Men
So this obstacle avoidance is the first of the 2 things you must do to quickly bring the glass full up. Now, the other thing requires that you listen with an open mind. At first, you won’t like what you hear. I was kicking and screaming when I first read the research results—but it’s true:  Today, women are holding women back—it’s no longer the men! If you’re like me and require proof of the research, I refer you to the Max Planck Institute’s expansive study. Fake resumes for jobs were shown to men and women. The names on the resumes were changed back and forth between male and female names. More women than men held the female applicants back while recommending more men for positions, especially positions of authority. This is where I screamed, “Why are we doing this?”  Well, here’s what’s going on. Some of us hold the stereotype in our heads that men are managers and women are support staff. It’s hard to avoid stereotypes in the first few seconds, but we can unlearn them—and we will unlearn them! Some of us expect women to work twice as hard as men, because that’s what we had to do—so what, we can get over it!  We can get over it because we don’t want this situation to be around for our daughters and our granddaughters!

Tip:  So let’s get this Tipping Point ripping along. The Good News is the ball is in our court, and we’re smart. Let’s start avoiding obstacles and begin helping other women. Very soon we’ll be able to tell our daughters that men and women are truly equal in business. Let’s make this happen!

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Women Want A Job They Feel Good About—A Business With Good Intentions

“Right now you are one choice away from a new beginning—one that leads you toward becoming the fullest human being you can be.”
— Oprah Winfrey
We all know both men and women look for jobs so they can earn money. What surveys have found is that money is Number 1 for the men, and almost Number 1 for the women. Women place Doing Something Worthwhile above money. So if you’re a woman who’s unhappy with her current job, look for an Oprah job. By this I mean a job with good intentions. I remember when Oprah’s talk show was barreling along bringing in bags of money and suddenly she started doing some shows along the lines of Be A Credit To The Universe type of thinking. Her regular audience dwindled on those days at first. That was about the same time I started taping her show. Call me New Age-y . . .no comment. She has stuck to her vision and, guess what, the money has followed.
That’s sort of the scenario that took place at the company I founded with two friends, WomensMedia. The initial idea was to provide valuable information to working women—AND to make money. Fortunately, no one quit her day job. Every time we thought about selling information to women, we’d get emails from women in India, in the U.K., in the U.S. who could not afford anything. We’d say, “We’ll pass the hat around for a few more months of operating expenses.” Well, guess what? The money has followed. It turns out that advertising now pays the bills.
I have 3 options for those of you who are putting in valuable hours for work you’re not proud of.
1) Stay with your current company, but propose that you head up a new project that benefits the community or an important charitable effort. Perhaps there’s a tie-in to your company’s services. If you’re choosing this Door Number 1, put in some hours ahead of time to do it right: Research the effort, plan what your company can offer, estimate how much it will cost, detail the position you will assume, detail what parts of your current job will need to be taken over by someone else, and most importantly, talk about the Invaluable Good Will that will be forthcoming.
2) Door Number 2: Stay with your current company, but diligently look for another job with a worthwhile purpose. Which company? You decide. You know what you’d be proud to donate (meaning sell) your time to.
3) Door Number 3 is the door many women are choosing: Become an entrepreneur—follow your own good intentions. I’d like to say with conviction, “The money will follow.” but you have to prepare for the other case. Don’t quit your day job until you see the customers signing on the line. In fact, don’t quit your day job until their checks clear the bank. But maybe then you’ll be rewarded . . .like Oprah.
In case you need some thinking material, I suggest these two magazines: Worthwhile, and Pink. Think things over—and make a change.
Tip: If you picked Door Number 1, do your planning and earmark positions in your project for a couple other women in your company. Spread the good feelings around.

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How To Promote Yourself Without Bragging

It’s not bragging if you can back it up.
—Muhammad Ali

Ali can get away with bragging but we women can’t. We must walk a fine line between informative self-promotion and outright bragging. Most of us have been raised on the little girl admonitions, “It’s not nice to brag!” and “Who does she think she is?”  As long as these sayings are still playing in your mental background, you’ll feel uncomfortable when you know you’re bragging. And when you’re uncomfortable, other people focus on your discomfort. You don’t want that! The secret I can tell you is how to promote yourself just short of bragging. And that’s something you probably do want.

You need to self-promote—even if you’re not interviewing for a job. As you meet people they’re going to form split-second impressions of you. If you’re a woman, that may tend toward the sister, wife, mother, girlfriend, low-level employee, or helper images. Remember this and craft something in the beginning of a conversation that sets them in the right direction. I’ll tell you 2 simple ways to craft it in the tips of the week.

Meanwhile, for the guys who tell me they read this blog, women are not impressed the same way men are. For instance, men are often impressed when another man mentions his car by brand. Or, as I saw, a man left his Ferrari keys on the table during an entire dinner. For women, this type of display is too blatant. We don’t feel we should do it; we won’t allow other women to easily do it; and we see through it when men do it. You know, maybe we should ease up. Or not. On the other hand, women, if you’re talking only to men, you can take it up a notch without worry. Mention the private jet business trip you took, even if it was ages ago, and watch the men’s heads swivel around. Same thing with the 6-figure and 7-figure contracts your company is involved with. It will earn you respect. Just don’t try it with women.

Here’s the first tip for the week.


Tip 1:
Rather than saying, “I have …,” or “I can do …,” the secret is finding an item in the conversation that relates to your accomplishment. Then start with something like, “I learned X when I was faced with a problem at IBM. I had to…”  Talking about what you learned or experienced keeps you just short of bragging—right where you want to be.


Tip 2:
You know how comfortable you feel when you’re telling someone about a memorable vacation you took? I want you to take a piece of paper, right now, and jot down a list of items from your life or career that are memorable, including a few that are impressive. I want you to craft what Peggy Klaus calls a “bragalogue.”  Pretend you’re writing a screenplay that only includes the good parts. OK, throw in a couple missteps to show your humility (we still are expected to be somewhat humble) and to show your sense of humor. This is now Your Story—a story you enjoy talking about.

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Use Confident Language That Says, “I Can Do It!”

The “impostor syndrome” is more prevalent among women than men. You know, it’s that nagging feeling that any minute people will discover that you’re not up to a task. Relax, most of us feel that way when we accept a challenge—even a small one.

If you’re a woman, you know how often this self-doubt occupies your mind. It occupies a man’s mind too, but to a lesser extent. And, here’s the important fact, men don’t voice this OUT LOUD. You know what a man says when faced with self-doubt:  Of course, I can do it!

Now, the first tip for you is to stop vocalizing your self-doubt. The second tip is to substitute strong words for your weak vocabulary whenever you feel doubt creeping up.

Start substituting these phrases:

I know…
I’m convinced that…
I’m certain…


And stop uttering these phrases:

I’m not sure, but…
I feel…
I may be wrong, but…


Start bringing these phrases into the conversation—when they fit, of course:

a proven winner
take advantage of a unique opportunity
tell me what you need and I’ll take care of it
minimum risk and opens up possibilities
I’ll evaluate it
in my experience, response has been good
I’ll give it top priority


Tip:

 Let’s say you want to talk to your boss with full confidence—and no self-doubt showing. Words are not the only concern. Your body language must be strong as well. Here’s the scenario. Knock on your boss’ door. Enter with strength—not timidly—and make eye contact. Take a minute or two before being seated—there’s power is having your boss look up to you. Sit up straight. Only use your hands to make strong gestures—especially those with an upturned palm. Don’t let your hands fiddle with your hair or jewelry or pen. You know you can do a good job of this. Give it a try!

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Top Fortune 500 Companies Are Listening To Women Because It’s Good For Business

Just like the Fortune 500 companies, your company should be looking for ways to do better financially. Wouldn’t it be a kick if that turned out to be by promoting more women into upper management? Wouldn’t it be great if your stockholders thought this would also be good for their pockets? Well, the kicker is . . . it’s true! Now you need to get the word out. And to do that, you need proof. Catalyst, a New York-based research organization has provided the proof.

Catalyst found that Fortune 500 companies with the highest representation of women in their senior management teams had a 35 percent higher Return on Equity—a key measure of profitability—and a 34 percent higher Total Return to Shareholders—capital gains plus dividends—than companies with the lowest representation of women at the senior level.

So, promoting women up, way up, increases the bottom line. I hope you’re asking yourself, “Aren’t women being promoted?” For those of you, the resounding answer is “No.” Women are half our workforce and only 16%—that’s way less than half—of our upper management. There are many subtle obstacles that cause this situation. The Good News is these obstacles can avoided by smart women preparing for them and by smart companies taking an active role in removing them.

What could be the reasons for a financial upside to promoting women? Catalyst is careful not to try to guess at what causes these numbers. But I’m not shy, I’ll give you my thoughts. I believe women bring a different way of looking at things that a group of men may have overlooked. I’m not saying the men’s viewpoint is wrong, but asking them to consider a different direction, a different product, is valuable.

Also having more female role models will attract the best-qualified women to your company. Heather Arnet of the Post Gazette says, “Demonstrating a true commitment to paying women fair wages and providing opportunities for advancement within your corporate and board structure will enable your company to compete for the most qualified workers in the market.” And now more women than men are graduating from our universities: 6 out 10 college graduates are now women. We can’t ignore this skilled talent pool.

And also of financial importance is stemming the turnover of your female employees. As Mike Cook of Deloitte discovered (as reported in the Harvard Business Review), women were not leaving to start families, they were leaving because they saw men receiving the best new clients and men being promoted more rapidly. These practices have been curbed, and guess what, the women are staying.

It’s a novel turn of events that we now need to say, “Don’t promote women because it’s the right thing to do. Promote women because it’s good for the bottom line.”

Tip:  Get the word out. Refer your CEO to Deloitte, IBM, or Johnson & Johnson to see how they’re removing obstacles to promoting women and gaining the financial upper hand. If a woman would like to take some time off to start a family, these companies now offer a 1 to 5 year sabbatical (without pay) where they keep you informed and connected to the company. And yes, men can use this time off (for any reason) as well. If you’re running your own business, as many women today are, ask a man for his viewpoint—you may be surprised. Of course, if you’re the boss, you get to make the final decision.

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The Good News About Women And Leadership

They’re Finally Ready For Us!

What if you asked 2,250 adults across the U.S. who makes a better political leader, a man or a woman? And what if you divided leadership into 8 character traits?

Luckily for us, the Pew Research Center found the money and the people to fund a well-run survey asking these exact questions. What did they find? They found a paradox in our society.

They identified these 8 political leadership traits:

1. Honest
2. Intelligent
3. Hardworking
4. Decisive
5. Ambitious
6. Compassionate
7. Outgoing
8. Creative

And they got these results:

1. Honest                           Women             50% vs  20%
2. Intelligent                       Women             38% vs 14%
3. Hardworking                   Men and Women
4. Decisive                          Men                  44% vs  33%    
5. Ambitious                       Men and Women
6. Compassionate              Women             80% vs   5%     
7. Outgoing                        Women             47% vs  28%
8. Creative                         Women             62% vs  11%

The survey showed that people rated women as better leaders in 5 out of 8 categories, men in one category (decisive), and men and women equally in 2 categories (hardworking and ambitious).

This certainly is not the result the Pew Research Center would have found in the 1980’s. Times have changed.

Here’s the paradox:

Women have made great strides in educational attainment (6 out of 10 college degrees go to women) and women have achieved near equal participation in the U.S. workforce (46.5%), very few have made the jump to the highest levels of political leadership (17% in the Senate and a mysteriously equal 17% in the House) or corporate leadership (less than 3% of the Fortune 500 companies in 2008 had female CEO’s).

Is this the truth?

Are people fibbing when they take this survey, and they really don’t think women are good leaders, but it wouldn’t be politically correct to say this? Luckily again for us, the Pew Research Center wondered the same thing, so they conducted a second survey. They were given profiles of 2 candidates, Ann Clark and Andrew Clark who had similar characteristics, except for gender. How did each rank on their  “likeliness to vote scale?”  They came out the same! Gender no longer mattered. In fact, when it comes to assessments about character, the public’s gender stereotypes are actually pro-female.

Getting back to sports—

Women come out of this survey like a sports team that racks up better statistics but still loses the game. The 8-traits survey stats are women over men by 5 to 1, with 2 ties. Nearly all these gender evaluations are shared by men as well as women. Interesting.

Gender no longer matters (yea), so why do we have this shortfall (boo)?

A number of recent studies have shown that women do about as well as men once they actually run for office, but that many fewer women choose to run in the first place. Some people think this is because party leaders are reluctant to seek out women candidates, especially for highly competitive races. (This may be rapidly changing!)

A recent Brookings Institution study gives another explanation. It suggests that women may be constrained by their own shortfall in political ambition—which, the study theorizes, is the sum of several factors:

1. They have more negative attitudes than men about campaigning for office,
2. They under-value their own qualifications for office; and
3. They are more likely than men to be held back by family responsibilities.

My Tip of the Week involves some missionary work you can do, all for the benefit of women.


Tip:

Think hard about the 3 reasons women may not be stepping up for a political office. Could one of these be holding you back? Should it be holding you back? For instance, # 3, family responsibilities, look at the U.S. Senate and House right now. Quite a few of these women have raised families. You could start thinking about local positions you could hold now and ramp up later.

Perhaps there’s a woman you know who you’d like to see making responsible decisions in our government. Talk to other women and form a posse to convince her to run for office. I personally know of one woman, who had only held PTA positions, who said this happened to her. She said she was stunned, but the momentum kept building, and her confidence built right along with it. Today she’s a respected politician making careful decisions which help mold our society.

Think it over. Take a step. Or help another woman realize her potential. There’s something you can do!

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How To Handle A Gender Stereotype In Business

Starting out in rocket science and computer technology, I was often the only woman in the room.

That’s another way of saying, the stereotype others had of me didn’t fit with the group. I was well aware of these assumptions.

I’ll bet you’ve had the feeling—at one time or another—that people have stuck a stereotype or label on you that made you out to be less than you are.

You may have felt like an outsider to their groups.

In their minds they could be thinking:

• She’s not important,
• She’s not educated,
• She’s not capable,
• She’s not assertive,
• it could even be, “Oh, she’s a mother.” and further questions might end right there.

You can see how this limits the opportunities a person is willing to offer you.

It’s not a good feeling when it’s directed at you, is it? Why do these stereotypes keep popping up? Unfortunately, each of us has a little bucket in our brain that acts like an autopilot to help us survive. This would have been a good idea a long time ago, when you were being chased by a fast 4-legged creature with big teeth out on the Pleistocene Plain.

But today, this bucket is full of quite a few wrong assumptions.

Well the next question we need to ask is:  How do stereotypes die?

Let’s take a look at how scientists say a stereotype disappears in your brain.

1.  A stereotype disappears when it’s popped up enough times and you’ve been proven wrong

—or—

2.  A stereotype disappears when you’ve been terribly, terribly wrong—as in embarrassingly wrong.

What can you do to counter a negative (incorrect) stereotype about yourself that might pop up when you meet someone new? You know, when someone assumes you are less than you really are.

Here’s my Women in Business Tip, which deals with this.

Women in Business Tip of the Week:

This is unpleasant to think about, but you need to do this exercise once. You must think of how others might be stereotyping you. What negative or incorrect assumptions do you think they may be making? Yucky mental game, isn’t it? Well, this is all for your benefit.

After you pinpoint the stereotypes and labels, work up a few sub-comments to add when you introduce yourself to someone new. These sub-comments should be designed to directly contradict what the other person might be thinking. Trust your intuition as to which one would be most beneficial in each situation.

You can also do this with a stereotype-breaking action—you can go out of your way to be

more reasonable, more helpful, more intelligent than the other person might expect.

Don’t be naïve—be prepared! Now, get out there and cancel those stereotypes, one by one!

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