A Difficult Life for Single Mothers With a Career

We hear how difficult it can be to be a single mother and hold a career. A few fathers may have this problem so it applies equally to all those single fathers out there as well. Few of us know really how many hurdles these woman (single parents) have to go through in order to advance in their careers. Hurdles often include skills, wages and competing interests.

The Department of Labor states that about 69% of all single mothers are working. This number shows some indication of decline as the economy sours. Since such woman have competing interests, have more problems, often less skills, and must balance between work & family they are typically one of the first groups to lose their jobs. Even while working they have some of the lowest income levels. The problems these woman face can be summarized as follows:

Skills

Many of the working mothers have only sporadic prior experience. Since they have been busy raising children many of these mothers have not had the opportunity to attend trade schools or colleges. Furthermore, a career is developed over time and in many cases these woman have moved in and out of the workforce thereby they are unable to maintain a career.

Competing Interests

Businesses love when employees are committed to the company's success. The problem is that mothers sometimes come in late, must leave early and take additional days off to either recover themselves or take care of a sick child. If the babysitter calls off they are required to stay at home to watch their children. The more resources they have in terms of friends and family members the more likely they will be able to maintain a successful career.

Low Wages

Women are generally paid slightly less than men. When we add the lack of education and the sporadic work experience many woman are qualified only for entry level positions with subsistence pay. These low wages must be divided up for housing, food, clothing, children's medical needs, transportation, etc. With a low budget many woman are not able to provide for their children's future, may have chronic car problems because they can't afford maintenance, and may not be able to purchase all the luxuries of others. These low wages causes the next generation to repeat the problems of their mothers.

The next time a single mother makes a mistake please consider the turmoil these woman (and men) have to go through in order to survive. Each and everyday is a struggle to keep all the ends tied together and a problem in one area may cause the whole tightly knit ball to unwind. Companies that offer flexible schedules, promotion from within, job training, medical benefits and child care allotments do these women a great service.

Murad Ali

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Wife, Mother, Professional Woman: The Real Multi-Tasking

I have always been impressed by women's ability to balance the many roles that they are expected to perform in modern society. I must confess, however, that although my experiences has broaden and my sophistication has peaked to new awareness, this phenomenon remains, for me, a social enigma. For this reason I have decided to examine some of the issues surrounding dual careers and how it relates to contemporary women.

The issues of involvement in multiple roles and multiples role strain have long been of interest to social scientists. In addition, these issues have always been central in discussions relating to women of increased labor force participation. For example, the media often features changing roles and alternative family styles, suggesting that fundamental changes in family dymanics are occurring. Most recently, this author had the opportunity to experience two media events of just this nature.

The first event was an article written by Anita Shreve entitled Career and the Lure of Motherhood, New York Times Magazine, November 21, 1982. In her article Ms. Shreve illustrates how many women in today's labor market must be able to juggle the roles of mother, wife and career-woman, and in many instances, that of a student. In essence, she is expected to be a superwoman. The sad part is that often these women are unhappy in their roles as part-time mother and part-time careerist. Too often, such a woman feels inadequate and unfulfilled in either role. These women are caught in what Ms. Shreve called the career-mothering dilemma. Successful career women often feel guilty about not meeting their family responsibilities. They worry, as they steal time for their family, that they are putting their careers in jeopardy. According to Ms. Shreve, these women feel that they are merely support player in the daily activities of their families. It is difficult to determine the toll such stress is having on this population of women; however, the cost to society may be high. Many of these women are employed in high-level positions, in private, as well as in the public sector, and they are a crucial member of today's nuclear family.

If the stress on this population becomes too great, both the nuclear family and the economic productivity of the nation could be seriously affected. Therefore, it is to everyone's benefit to resolve this double-bind. The main ingredient in reaching this goal is to recognize that career-women need understanding and a supportive partners as well as sympathetic employers.

The second event was a televised movie entitled Games Mother Never Taught You, aired November 27, 1982, 9:00 - 11:00 P.M., Ch. 2. In this movie, Ms. Loretta Swit played the leading role as a secretary promoted to a management position. She soon discovered that the stakes are for keeps in a corporate structure where the rules have been made by men. As it turned out, the one casuality of the game was her happy marrage to her husband, played by Mr. Sam Waterston, in the role as co-star. The message here is that women cannot have a successful career and a happy marrage simultaneously.

Contrary to the impression conveyed by the mass media, most American women expect to have a family, including children. At the same time, given the environment of an inflationary economy as well as the sense of autonomy and opportunity encouraged by the feminist movement, an increasing number of women will be combining parenthood with careers in the marketplace. However, to achieve their goal and make some kind of career commitment, many women are postponing parenthood.

While on the other hand, women who marry and immediately start their families are subsequently confronted by the issue of whether or when they should seek salaried employment. In both instances, whether their expectations of themselves are being enchanced by necessity or by choice, women are raising important questions about the sequence and timing of family and career. These questions challenge traditional conceptions of the substance and chronology of generativity as outlined by (Erik Erikson) in women's lives.

Just a few years ago, in mainstream America, a husband had career aspirations and his wife had housework. His strive for success in the corporate world while she stays at home to keep his personal (family) life in order, thereby facilitating his achievement. Occasionally, if she did work outside the home, it was usually on a temporary basis to meet a financial need, or to fill the void after the children were grown. The few women who actively pursued a career were considered selfish wives, inadequate mothers, and in some instances, disgrace to society. The professional woman who combines a professional career with family obligations is under a multiple role strain because she participates in two activity systems where the allocation of time and resources is a problem, and, also, because of the conflicting values that are always present ... her commitment to her career versus her responsibilities to her family. No clear guidelines are available for the individual career woman to follow. The ability to handle the role of wife, mother and career is still, for the most part, a matter of individual adaptation.

Additionally, the business world often presents its own unique pressures and problems. This is true primarily because the business world has not kept pace with the advent of the two career family and the life-styles they adopt to make their career and marriage work. In this society, one is expected to be single-minded and devote all the necessary time in pursuing a career. Many employers will not employ a person for less than full-time. However, if they do, they do not consider the person a full member of the organization. In addition, it is usually expected that the activities of other family members will be subordinated to those of the person pursuing a profession. Therefore, it is extremely difficult to have two fully-developed careers in the same family.

On the other hand, however, some five or ten years into their careers, couples tend to handle duel career conflicts differently. For example, when career needs conflict with family needs, many couples choose family goals over career goals. Experienced couples are more willing to examine alternatives and when necessary, accommodate their spouse. These couples are better able to plan and cope, and they are less reluctant to approach the company with their problems.

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Relationship advice: mother & child

Mom's from conception on worry about their kids, and want the best for them, and try to give them the best they can. Kids are very satisfied with attention and affection from moms: however, moms always to seem to want to do more and give more. Unconditional love and physical well being are how kids are happy and satisfied.

The physical care for children seem the easiest to figure out: shelter, clothing, medical care, rest and exercise etc. Kids are happy to have the warmth and security of the home and family. These tasks are not always as simple as it seems.

In the past it was easier for moms to stay at home with their kids and raise them: keep them close to them and watch them grow happy and strong. Nevertheless, today is so different for moms. The worry about income makes it necessary for many to have to work full-time outside the house, single parent homes have many worries and struggles. Many moms deal with weekend visits, individual attention for their kids, proper education and everyday problems that all children seem to have. Moms just need to relax and take time to spend with the kids. Laundry and dishes may have come later. However, the time you spend reading a book or visiting with your child about the day, he/she had will make the child's day and make them seem that they are very important in your life.

Many kids need to be shown love. Abstract feelings of love are hard for children to get the concept of. For the child love is easier to understand through the use of their senses. Touching, smelling, tasting, hearing and seeing. If moms take the extra efforts to show their kids they are loved, they can grow up more secure and responsible as adults. A hug, special hand made card saying I love you on it, saying I love you and letting them know they are good kids helps children realize they are loved and what love is.

Moms' unconditional love is sometimes the hardest but the most necessary to give a child. Whether a child is good or bad, well or ill, smart or has special needs the love from mom is always there. Children seem to need it the most when things are not good for them. It seems that a child may test a moms love. Some days they are the worst children they have ever been but moms love is still there, and children need to know that.

Communication with their children seems to be the bridge to a good and healthy relationship between moms and their children. The most important part of communication for moms is listening. Many times moms are in too big of a hurry to speak and less interested in listening. The way to learn is to listen. Children learn from moms as well as moms learn from children. It is not always easy for a mom to listen in a busied life nevertheless listening is sometimes the most important. Take the time to stop and listen to what your child has to say it will be a precious moment that can be turned into a precious memory.

Moms need to be consistent with children. Children learn to trust this way. A mom says something it is important to follow through with that statement. Whether it be a boundary for a child (where they can go, curfews, friends) or a special time and day set aside for them. Consistency is an everyday thing that will go on through the life of the child. They trust boundaries that are set for them and look forward to the time they get with mom. As children grow and have ideas of their own, it is important for moms to keep communicating and listening to their children. There are different needs in children as they grow and change and it is important for moms to recognize their changes and needs with an open mind and a lot of understanding. Sometimes tough love is a hard thing to for moms but a much-needed thing in children's lives.

There are some moms that are too hard on themselves by always worrying they are doing something wrong, making wrong choices and decisions. It is very true everyone, not only moms makes mistakes. Once we understand that we do not do everything right for our children, then we can be more relaxed. Children are the first to show forgiveness and understanding when something goes wrong for a mom. We learn to accept their forgiveness and can learn from the mistakes that are made. Being a mom of four children of my own and four stepchildren it is an everyday ordeal to make choices and decisions. Many decisions are made too quickly and wrongly but with communication and understanding children and moms can great relationships.

Challenges of a mom and their children are not something to worry about rather something to be accepted. As they grow and change moms change and grow too. Letting a child make their own choices, decisions, and mistakes is very hard. The hardest task for a mom is to let them grow away from you. Moms tend to hold on tighter when a child starts to drift. This is when it is important for a mom to trust in herself. The efforts and guidance that was given to her child while growing up was done right and that the road they choose will be the best they can for themselves.

It may be easiest to understand a child growing up and changing by looking at it from a different concept. You make and mold this child into something you believe will make a good adult and he/she knows the right and wrong of life and teach them to make good sound choices. However, through time this mold changes and develops into something even a mom sometimes has a hard time recognizing. Nevertheless, if a mom really looks hard they can see that the mold they started with was the base for something much more beautiful and wonderful then she could have ever expected. Her young child grows into a well-rounded adult. The biggest challenge a woman may ever have is the job of a mom, but along with the challenges comes the greatest rewards life can give a woman. The rewards of respect, honor, forgiveness, peace and above all a love that can go forever will be in your memory.

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Advice for working mothers: cleaning when you have no time

ENLIST HELP

Even though it may feel like it sometimes, cleaning the house is not only your responsibility. Everyone that lives in the house is accountable for the state of it. Don’t take the bulk of the cleaning chores on yourself. Make everyone help you. Teach children from the time that they are young that they, too, are important members of the family and that their help is just as important to see that things run smoothly. Even children in pre-school can help by learning to put away their own toys, sorting the laundry, dusting the furniture, and fixing pillows on the sofa. Grade school aged children can learn to make beds, gather laundry from different rooms, put out fresh towels, sweep floors, rake leaves, water gardens and plants, set and clear tables, help unpack groceries, wash windows and mirrors, straighten out books and put away clutter, and take out the trash. Middle school-aged kids can mop, wash dishes, wash and fold laundry, help with younger children’s feedings and diaper changes, help prepare salads, microwave quick meals, organize books, tapes, cd’s, video games, and polish furniture. High school and college aged children can babysit siblings, run errands, wash cars, cook and serve meals, help with the more heavy-duty kitchen and bathroom cleaning and do yard work. Husbands, of course, can help with any of these things. If you and everyone else in the house is pitching in to do the cleaning chores on a daily basis, it will make it easier on everyone.

CLEAN ON THE GO

When you stop to use the bathroom, give the toilet a quick brush or give the sink a quick wipe. When you grab that cup of coffee, wipe down the kitchen counter while it's heats. Running to the laundry room for your pants? Bring a load with you on the way. When you sit down to watch the news, fold some towels or sort the children’s toys. When vacuuming the living room, grab the attachment and quickly take the dust off the ceiling fan. Taking the time to do these little chores on the run will leave any time you have left to tackle bigger projects.

PRIORITIZE

When the mess seems to be growing and overtaking the house, decide what jobs are most important to get done quickly. If you’re down to your last pair of underwear, do a load of laundry– someone can pick up the kid’s toys later. Can you use your nail to cut a trail of soap scum in the bath tub? Take care of that; no one will mind if they have to look in spotted mirrors for another day. Have you run out of cups and dishes? Get a load in the dishwasher and nuke some frozen pizzas for dinner, then serve them on paper plates. So what if you can’t make the bed today? No one has to know.

ORGANIZE

It may be an old adage, but when there is a place for everything, it makes it a lot easier to put everything in its place. Try to assign everything that is commonly used a spot that is easily accessible and always available. Take advantage of closet organizers, shelving, file folders and storage units.

One of the easiest way to keep clutter under control in a large, busy household is to keep things in plastic storage containers or baskets. Craft supplies, school supplies, office supplies, cleaning supplies, toys, sewing supplies, baby needs, bills with stamps and envelopes, tools– anything that fits in a box or basket that will need to be put away. Put shelves in closets to hold the boxes. When you need to use the items, drag out the box and dig into it for what you need. When you are done with things, simply throw them in a box and stick it back up on the shelf.

KEEP LISTS

Always have a small pad or book in your bag so that when you sit to wait for a bus, or have a few minutes at lunch, you can jot down any notes to yourself on things that need to be done or gotten. Make little notes for other people in the household if it is something they need to do and slip it to them when you see them. Some of the most troublesome and inconvenient chores that disrupt our days are the ones we forgot to get to or to tell someone about until the last minute. If you’re busy, don’t always rely on your memory. Get into the habit of writing things down, and checking your lists often.

STOP, DROP AND CLEAN

If you find 20 minutes here or a half hour there, stop everyone in the house who is not doing anything important and have a quickie-clean up time. Set a timer for 10, 15, 20, or 30 minutes. For that time, the objective is for everyone to do as much as possible. Assign tasks, or send a person into each room to do what needs most to be done. After the time is up, everyone can stop and go back to what they were doing. Whatever doesn’t get done will just have to wait. You may be surprised to see just how much a family can accomplish in 20 minutes if they know they can get it over quickly and go on with their day.

RELAX

Have you ever heard of anyone on their death bed regretting that they didn’t get all the stains out of the rug, that their stainless steel appliances had smudge marks or their laundry didn’t always smell April-fresh? Sure, cleanliness has some importance, but it isn’t the only thing important in life. Try to balance all of your needs.

Don’t be hard on yourself, or your family. Life gets busy, houses get messy. Sometimes you will be able to keep up with the cleaning needs better than other times. Don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself falling behind. Just keep up your stride as best you can, and things will eventually get back on track. Don’t expect everyone to always do a perfect job– be willing to settle for “good enough.”

Don’t forget to take care of yourself as well. Allow yourself time to rest and refuel. Sometimes we run on empty trying to get things done, instead of taking the time to recharge our battery so we can be more productive later.

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Advice for working mothers: keeping appointments without falling behind

As any working mother already knows, juggling a career and family can be quite a challenge. Aside from the obvious quality time that a mother spends with her child, parenthood comes with innumerable additional responsibilities including taking children to appointments and attending school functions.

As a working mother, you may find that your children’s activities cut into your workday. In addition, you may be having a hard time scheduling your own appointments around your work schedule -- after all, you can only take so much time off from your job. So what’s the best way to handle this problem? Here are some tips to help you make your appointments without compromising your workload:

-- Organize. Use your computer or a calendar to keep a running list of the yearly appointments you need to make for your family. Include annual physicals, appointments for vaccines, dental checkups, eye exams and visits to your gynecologist. By knowing ahead of time when these checkups are due, you won’t be hit with an unexpected reminder card and you can plan accordingly.

-- Try to find doctors and dentists that offer evening and weekend hours. Many practices recognize the need for flexible scheduling and offer evening and Saturday hours. If you find such a practice, try to schedule appointments for after work hours. Keep in mind, however, that evening and weekend hours usually fill up very quickly so you will need to schedule these appointments well ahead of time.

-- Find a doctor near your office. If you’re lucky enough to have appointments that are near your workplace, try to schedule them during your working hours and go to the appointment in lieu of your lunch break.

-- Try to schedule appointments for first thing in the morning. If you or your child is the first patient of the morning, your doctor won’t be behind schedule and you can get in and out much more quickly.

-- Schedule several appointments for the same day. Try to take one full day off from work to take care of annual visits and physicals. Schedule them for a day that your kids have off from school so you can take them to their appointments as well. After your appointments, schedule any follow up visits right then and there. This will save you from having to call-- and be put on hold by a busy reception desk-- later.

-- Do what you can the night before. Pack lunches, sign permission slips, and fill out medical paperwork ahead of time. This will give you less things to do on the morning of your appointment.

-- Leave a message on your company voicemail stating the hours that you will be away from your desk. Nothing is worse than being away from the office for a few hours, only to come back to a slew of voicemail messages. By stating the times that you will be away, you may discourage people from leaving messages, as they will know what time they can call you back.

-- Catch up at work by checking voicemail and e-mail from home. If you leave work early or take the entire day off, do some work from home by keeping up with your voicemail and e-mail. By listening to your voicemail messages and checking e-mail ahead of time, you will know what to expect when you go in the next day and you may even be able to respond back to the messages from home.

--Go in early or stay late the next day. If your workload is heavy, try to get up an hour earlier or stay late the next work day. You will be amazed at how much you can get done when the office is quiet.

--Ask for help! Finally, don’t attempt to be Superwoman and do it all. If juggling your home and work schedules prove to be too difficult, ask your spouse or a family member to help you out. Let them make dinner or do the grocery shopping while you go to your appointments. Ask a friend or neighbor to pick up your kids from their after school activities or drive them to appointments that you don’t need to be at. You can always return the favor when things aren’t as hectic in your life.

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Become a better mother

Becoming a mother is probably the most important role you will ever have in life. When you become the parent of a child, your priorities will suddenly shift, and your perspectives on life will change. Your focus will be on what is best for your child. Of course, you want to be the best mother you possibly can, but how do you know that you are doing a fantastic job, and what can you do to improve?

One of the first points you need to remember is that nobody is perfect. This holds true for mothers especially. Once you become a mother, you will be introduced to the world of guilt. That’s right, guilt. You will spend your days and nights questioning every decision and justifying each choice that you make regarding your child. You may be justifying these decisions to others from time to time, but probably your toughest critic will be yourself. Are you doing the best for your child? Can you become a better parent? Only you know the answers to these questions, but there are some things you can consider that just might help you become a better mother. This doesn’t mean that you aren’t a good mother already. It just means that there are some issues you may need to take a look at and some areas you could possibly improve in.

Many mothers wish they had more patience on a daily basis. You may need more patience to deal with your child’s constant whining. You may wish you had more patience to deal with your children’s bickering and sibling rivalry. Maybe you just wish you had more patience to deal with your toddler’s endless questions or your teen’s sullen attitude. You are not alone. Patience is a big part of mothering, and there will be times when you need to be extremely patient.

When you clearly feel that you are all out of patience, take a moment to flash forward to the future. One day, your toddler will be a teen who won’t want or need your wisdom. Today, your toddler looks at you with adoring eyes, and he believes that you can fix everything. Once he’s a teen, however, he may only roll those eyes at you when you try to offer advice. If you want to become a better mother, try to be a more patient one.

Although you may hold down a full-time job and handle many demands every day, your child still needs your time. This may mean that you need to neglect other demands in your life, such as a clean house or a full-course meal. When you really stop to consider your life, though, is a spotless floor really worth the extra time that you might have to take from your child? Does your son or daughter really care if you have a gourmet meal on the table?

Take some time to crawl down the hall with your baby chasing after you. Help your toddler work that new puzzle. Spend an evening finger painting with your five-year-old. Even though your pre-teen may not show it, she needs you, too. Plan a shopping trip that focuses only on her. You don’t have to spend much money, but you can enjoy spending an afternoon together. Make sure you stop for ice cream on the way home.

Your teenager wants you at his sports or other extracurricular events, even if he doesn’t show it. Show him that he is important by supporting his hobbies and interests. Don’t worry if he doesn’t talk to you very much. It will make a difference that you took the time to be there for him. The important thing is that you give of yourself.

Finally, try to find and keep a sense of humor. Life is tough, and there will be difficult times along the way. Once you become a mother, you can’t just quit, even though there will be days when you will want to throw up your hands and walk away. Try to realize that more than likely the situation isn’t as bad as it seems. Teach your child how to handle life’s unexpected curves by handling things with humor, if you can. Sometimes, the only way to survive life is to laugh your way through it. Show your child that you can find the good in even the worst of times. As you improve yourself, you can become an even better mother than you already are!

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Advice for working mothers: managing stress

Working mothers are subject to stresses from every facet of their lives. They deal with home and family issues as well as job stress on a daily basis. So, what can a working mom do to manage this stress load?

1. Prioritize

At home and at work, perform triage on your life. What things are critical and must be handled quickly and only by you? Do your critical and complex tasks first, leaving the mundane and boring for later; those trivial tasks are easier to do when you are tired or can be delegated to others later.

2. Identify your stresses

Everyone has tasks they enjoy and others that cause them stress or distress. The amount of stress a task causes is not always directly proportional to the difficulty of the task or the time the task actually takes. So, for someone cleaning a toilet may be more stressful than planning a week’s menus and grocery shopping. Identify your most stress-provoking tasks and work to remove them from your life or minimize their impact on you. Maybe a particular combination of events or tasks causes dissonance for you; work to deal with those issues one at a time. For example, get as many routine tasks out of the way as possible before handling a special event that needs extra attention.

3. Let some things slide

Once you’ve prioritized your life you will see that some things routinely fall to the bottom of the list. Ask yourself whether those things really even need to get done. Is it critical that you take homemade cookies to back-to-school night or would bakery bought offerings be just fine? Will anyone really care if you only dust on top of your refrigerator twice a year instead of twice a month? Carefully evaluate the time consuming tasks in your life and determine which you can do less frequently or not at all.

4. Make time for yourself

Yes, it sounds easier than it actually is, but this may be the most important thing a working mother can do. Schedule time into your week for pursuits that are just for you. While you may enjoy your work and the time you spend with your partner, it is important to do some things just because they feel good for you. This may be as simple as reading a book, taking a bubble bath or meeting a friend for dinner or may be a regular endeavor like taking a class or pursuing a hobby with a local club. Whatever you enjoy, make sure you carve out regular time to spend on yourself.

5. Exercise

Physical health has an immediate and clear impact on mental health. Exercise improves your physical health dramatically, provides you with greater energy and increases your longevity so you will be around for your kids and grandkids as long as possible.

6. Delegate

The mythical Super Mom may be able to do everything herself but most working women need help. Delegate tasks at home to your partner, to your kids and to hired help. In your job, delegate to your associates and team members.

7. Share

Talk to your friends and family about your stresses. For many women, simply talking to a sympathetic ear about their stress will alleviate much of it. Empathy is a salve on the busiest schedule and the most horrific day. Your support network will help you get through the worst situations.

8. Get enough sleep

When schedules are crazy, sleep is often the first thing to go. But, a good night’s sleep can make you more productive and prepare you to deal with difficult situations, so it is important to consistently carve out ample time to sleep.

9. Respond to the stress

Stress is inevitable, but the way you respond to stress is largely up to you. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing, meditation and yoga to help yourself stay calm and handle difficult situations. Get massages to keep your muscles relaxed; eat fresh healthy foods to keep your physical body in optimum condition. The best way to fight the stress is to be in ideal shape, mentally and physically.

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Advice for working mothers: don't bring work home

As a working mother, you have many demands on your time. You probably start the day much earlier than you would like to. You have to make sure that the kids are dressed and have all of the homework, supplies, lunches and other items that they’ll need throughout the day. Then you head out to work, where you frantically rush to complete projects on time and still get out at a decent hour. When the work day is finally done, it is time to head home to after-school activities, dinner, homework, bath and bed time. This doesn’t even include housework, time for paying bills or even just some time to read a good book.

That is why it is so important that you leave your work at the office when you do come home. You already have less time than you would like with the people who are most precious to you. Why spend that valuable time doing work that should be done at the office? It may seem impossible to get your work done without bringing it home, but there are some simple steps that you can take to leave your work at the office door.

Prioritize Your Day

The first thing that you should do every morning is make a list, in order of importance, of the items that you must accomplish that day. Then start with the most important item and work your way down. If you have trouble prioritizing your work, show your manager a list of all of the things that you have been asked to do. Tell your manager that you do not have time to do everything on the list, and ask him or her to prioritize the work for you. This allows you to know which projects are most important to your manager, and those projects should be the most important to you. The other projects will just have to wait until they are in a higher position on the priority list.

So many of us get caught up in clearing unimportant (but easy) items out of our in-boxes, or returning non-urgent telephone calls or emails, that we wait until late in the day to get started on the work that must be finished. Then we end up bringing that work home and wondering why we can never have a peaceful evening at home with the family. The single most important step to getting out of the office on time and with an empty briefcase is working on the most important items first. This sounds so simple, but it takes real focus to make it happen.

Just Say No

As women, we have a difficult time telling others no. We feel that we aren’t doing a good job, or that others will think badly of us, if we turn down a project. However, there are many times when you need to do just that. If you are asked to do perform a task that falls into a co-worker’s job description, replying “but that’s not my job” won’t get you anywhere (other than possibly looking for a new job). On the other hand, replying that the co-worker can help get that information more quickly and accurately than you can shows that you are a team player who wants to get the work done in the most thorough and efficient manner.

Politely refusing to do someone else’s job for them does not make you a bad employee, or a bad person. Refusing to spend hours upon hours on a project that is not a priority for your manager and/or your company shows good judgment. By selectively saying no to projects or tasks that are distractions or a waste of time, you can free up your time for the items that top your priority list. This means that you are more likely to get those items completed at the office rather than at midnight at home.

Change Your Attitude

Many working mothers are closet perfectionists. We feel that we should be able to accomplish everything on our to-do lists in a timely manner. If someone asks a working mother what her biggest fault is, she is likely to respond that she has a problem with time management. That may not be true. Instead, that mother may fail to realize that it is absolutely impossible for any one human being to accomplish everything that she has been charged with doing.

What is required is an attitude adjustment. Instead of focusing on everything that hasn’t been accomplished, focus on what has. Instead of assuming that every project must be completed immediately no matter the personal cost, consider whether a later response will suffice. In fact, consider whether the project or task even needs to be completed at all. If you can force yourself to more realistically assess how much work can and should be accomplished during your working hours, you may find that you are better at time management than you thought you were.

By prioritizing your day, remembering to say no when appropriate and focusing on doing a great job instead of being the perfect employee (or mother), you’ll find that you have much more time for what is really most important to you. Let’s face it: having more time for the people most important to you is the true measure of success.

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Advice for working mothers: breast feeding tips

No one disputes the benefits of breast feeding anymore– it is healthier for the baby, as well as for the mother. However, in this busy day and age, trying to breast feed your baby while you are holding down a 9 to 5 job can seem a daunting task.

Before you are ready to go back to work, begin to prepare yourself and your baby. Start pumping your milk during the hours you will be working. This will help you get accustomed to your breast pump so that, once you are back at the office, you will be able to use it easily and pump swiftly. Let your baby begin taking breast milk by bottle during these hours, so that she will grow accustomed to it and you can be sure that your baby will take a bottle well once you leave her for the day.

Another benefit of starting early is that you will get a jump on storing your excess breast milk. This will ensure that your baby sitter will not run out of milk should you get stuck at the office one night. Also, if you forget your milk in the office fridge, you won’t have to worry about rushing back and forth to deliver it early in the morning because you’ll have a supply on hand in the freezer.

Breast milk can keep for up to 3 days in the refrigerator, up to two weeks in a freezer of a one-door fridge, up to 3 months in a two-door fridge, and up to 6 months in a deep freezer. Store breast milk in bottles that are labeled with the day and time it was expressed. Instruct your sitter to use them in the order they were bottled.

Remember to give your sitter clear instructions on how to prepare bottles. Breast milk should be thawed by being placed in the refrigerator for four to six hours, or by running it under cool water until thaw. It can be heated by running it under warm (not hot) tap water. Breast milk should not be left out to thaw at room temperature. It should never be put in a microwave or heated in boiling water. Unused bottles that were thawed should be discarded after 24 hours. Partially used bottles should not be refrigerated or reheated and should be discarded immediately.

When you return back to work, have a discussion with your boss about your needs to pump your breast milk. Ask if your breaks can be scheduled to meet those needs, and if there is a room with an electrical outlet where you can have some privacy to express your milk. If your office has a refrigerator for your use, make sure you keep your breast milk labeled and in a bag so that some unsuspecting co-worker does not accidentally grab it for their morning coffee. If there is no refrigerator where you work, you will need to keep a cooler stocked with ice available each day for storage. Again, make sure it is appropriately labeled and out of the way.

One of the most important investments you can make if you are going to continue breast feeding while working is in a good breast pump. Hospitals and birthing centers sometimes rent high quality pumps for reasonable prices. Beware of many inexpensive drug-store varieties of pumps, as not all pumps are created equal. Ask other working mothers or breast feeding specialists for suggestions on good brands that pump swiftly. Make sure you try out your pump and are thoroughly comfortable with it before going to work with it. If time is short, you should seriously consider a double-sided pump, so that you can express both breasts at one time.

Try to regulate your schedule so that you are pumping at around the same time each day. Your body creates breast milk as it is needed, so it will adapt to your schedule. This will help to prevent engorgement and leakage at inopportune times when you are in the office.

When you are home, afford your baby and yourself the time to nurse. One of the best things about breast milk is the bonding opportunity it offers to the nursing couple.

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Best Careers for Mothers

A girl grows up, becomes a woman and the woman matures and becomes a mom. There always comes a time in a woman's life when she gives up her career to start a family. Now both things can't be done simultaneously. Working women have to take a break for the proper care and nurture of their baby. In this time period a woman's career suffers. We all talk about both the parents sharing equal responsibility of their child, but in the end a woman handles it all. Women though want to work as raising a child on a single salary is not a easy job. The corporate world is filled with the best careers for mothers. You just have to find the right one.

Modern women don't like to depend upon their partner for money. They want to be financially independent. The best careers for women would be in which she has flexible timings, so that she has ample time to give to her new born baby. The chosen career should be stress free as she is already under a lot of pressure regarding her new born. So let's have a look at some of the best careers for women.

Best Careers for Working Mothers

Being a mom is a full time job. Many moms in the US are responsible for bringing food at home. Managing work and single parenting is tricky and finding a rewarding career is even more trickier. Finding a rewarding career basically depends upon your interests and talents. However, the best career choices for mothers would be those which allow them to work and enjoy the perks of motherhood simultaneously.

Teaching

I recommend this personally, my mother was a teacher and worked only limited hours a day. She normally went to school to teach when me and my brother went to school. Teaching jobs in college, private schools, various educational institutions are offered decent salary and perks.

Freelancing

One of the best careers for mothers, being a freelance writer is one career where you earn both ways. You get a handsome pay package and also become more creative. Freelancing is an option where you can use a variety of your talents such as writing, editing, computer programming and web development. Most freelancers work at home and have flexible work timings. Freelancing is one of the best jobs for stay at home moms.

Health Care

The health care sector grows leaps and bounds every year. You will find lots of career opportunities for women. Most of the jobs offer flexible timings, people generally think that the best careers for moms in medical field is only limited to being a nurse. This is not true, you can be a physiotherapist or a dental hygienist. A dental hygienist doesn't require any special training, you just have to assist the dentist and take general oral care of the patients.

Internet Jobs

One of the best examples of legitimate work from home jobs for moms are the various jobs found on the Internet. A new mom can take up data entry jobs, become an affiliate marketer or start participating in online surveys. There is no skill required for data entry jobs, if you want to participate in online surveys you just have to fill up various online forms which are prepared by various companies who launch new products in the market. All such online jobs can be worked at from home, they offer good money and flexible timings.

Home Business

Often considered as one of the best careers for mothers. It's an option that many mothers and would be moms are considering for its amazing work timings. The government provides various grants for single mothers to set up a successful home business. With the increasing long hours the need for someone to take care and walk their pets have never been in more demand. This job is easy and flexible and you can get US $16 for a single visit. Another home business which is getting popular is day care. This job offers double benefits as the mother can take care of her child as well as many others, the investment is minimal. You can make US $2,400 to US $3,000 annually for each child.

Best Careers for Working at Home Moms

Women who take a break from a full time career to start a family, should keep constantly working. As this helps them to stay connected to the outside world. In recent times, legitimate work from home jobs have gathered a huge fan base. So here are some options for work at home moms.

* Become a Tax Report Preparer

* Start a Medical Billing Business

* Become a Video Game Tester

* Run an Errand Service

* Start a Bookkeeping Business

* Learn and Start Medical Coding

* Start an Ebay Business

* Become a Life Coach

* Become a Home Typist

* Become a Nutritionist

So these were some choices of the best careers for mothers. If you apply for one of these jobs and your employer says no, don't lose hope, there are thousands of such jobs which require potential candidates like you. Just have the will and confidence required. Have a great life ahead!

By Kulbhushaan Raghuvanshi

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Advice for working mothers: myths and realities

MYTH: Mothers who choose to work are selfish because they are not putting the needs of their children first.

Some women work because they enjoy their career, and working simply makes them happier people. This does not make them any more selfish than a father who works at a career. The fact is that working mothers are statistically healthier and suffer less from depression than non-working mothers. If a mother is truly unhappy, the child will become aware of this and it will put a strain on the child/parent relationship, even if the mother is home. If a woman finds self-fulfillment in a career and pursues it, there will only be more of herself to give to her baby, not less. As long as the child is in a nurturing, safe, loving environment while the mother is at work, and the mother makes it a point to set aside quality time to spend with the child, a mother who works by choice is not depriving her child any more than a mother who works by necessity.

In addition, a working mother is setting an example for their children about learning how to balance responsibilities, taking pride in one’s work and the importance of being a productive, self-relying individual. If a woman needs to work, out of financial necessity or for personal fulfillment, she need not feel guilty for her choice.

MYTH: Unless your family is rich, you need to go to work.

REALITY: Most mothers who work do work claim to work out of necessity rather than choice. They simply feel that a second income is imperative in order to pay bills and provide basic necessities to their family. For a single mother, this is probably true. However, in a two-parent, two-income family, the choice to work must be examined very carefully.

The sad truth is, a lot of mothers who work, wish that they didn’t have to. And what is sadder is, they may not realize that they probably don’t have to. If you happen to be one of those mothers who dreams of being a stay-at-home-mom, consider this: by working, are you really coming out ahead?

A lot needs to be analyzed to answer this question. First, you must add up all of the expenses that come from working. Obvious expenses are day care/baby sitters, travel costs, and work clothing/supplies. But there are many hidden costs to take into consideration. For example, does your family eat out more because you work? Do you find yourself paying higher bills for services that you don’t have time to do yourself or wouldn’t need if you weren’t working, such as laundry, dry cleaning, lawn care and basic home upkeep/repairs? Don’t forget that you cannot take tax deductions on your second income, yet it may be pushing your family into a higher tax bracket. When you compare all of these things to your weekly salary, are you really coming out ahead? The sad reality is that, especially in lower income jobs, many women actually come out behind– it can cost more to work than to stay home.

If you find that staying home would allow you to cut out expenses (day care, travel, extra vehicle payments/insurance, eating out, convenience services, etc.) that are equal to or more than your salary, you could probably arrange to quit or cut down on work. If that is what you want to do, don’t let anyone guilt you into keeping a job you don’t want.

MYTH: A child’s home life must be very bad if he prefers day care.

REALITY: Advocates of stay-at-home mothering will pull out the debate on how a happy child could not possibly prefer an institution to his own home with his mother. However, think about this: do you go to work, or visit with your friends, because your home life is miserable? Probably not. So why should your children only want to get out because they don’t like being home with you?

Look at a model of a good day care: it is clean, cheerful, stocked with toys, filled with a caring staff and other children to play with, and lots of enjoyable activities available. Doesn’t exactly sound like a pit of despair, does it? If your child enjoys day care, don’t feel guilty that you haven’t been able to stay home and create a wonderland– be happy that both you and your child are satisfied with your situation.

MYTH: If a mother goes back to work too soon, her baby will not bond with her adequately.

REALITY: The mother/child bond is forged by quality time together, not quantity. A working mother has to learn to ration her time and balance her responsibilities, but as long as a child receives love and attention from mother when she is around, bonding will take place.

The reality is that a woman who stays home with her children is not automatically a good parent. Good parenting is not about where you spend your day, but how you spend it. Working hard at making a good life for yourself and your children is what is important. If you care about your child, make sure that she is happy and in a nurturing environment when you are not around, and that you are setting aside enough quality time for her, your child will know that you care and won’t be able to help bonding with you.

MYTH: Working mothers cannot continue to breast feed their babies. It is too difficult.

REALITY: A woman can continue to breast feed when she goes back to work, all she needs to do is a little preparation. There are many good breast pumps on the market that can express milk within 15 minutes. A woman can express milk on her breaks, keep her breast milk in a refrigerator or cooler, and freeze it for up to three months.

Like any other aspect of a working mother’s life, breast feeding can become a part of it with balance and planning.

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Mothers

The Coming of Age for Mothers

When God made women, he placed in everything that a man would directly or indirectly despise, but when he allowed her to become a mother, it’s an amazing fact that she totally metamorphosed into someone who’s loved the world over! Despite being ruled by her passion to make it big in this world, mothers when they become mothers suddenly encompass everything that are required to have, sensibilities, maturity, responsibilities! In today’s jet age, when mothers are more known as working mothers, seem to manage both hearth and careers in the same breath. Today we no longer picture mothers to be the podgy, cute and plump, instead they have been replaced by mothers who are fit, on the move and have this amazing power of balancing all chores and efficiently so!

Surrogate Mothers

Amidst all the other professions that women tend to associate themselves with, surrogate mothers have a new rung of their own. It was once thought that a woman would be empowered with power to cope up with just about everything, baring her emotions. Surrogate motherhood has somehow changed this concept! It’s difficult to part with the same flesh and blood that you had so far associated with, a bond that was created for tending to; for life! Somehow, it became a medley of responsibilities, for a good cause! Though there are still some cultures that do not heartily accept motherhood of this kind, its not new to our culture of accepting this change either! I mean in a world where children were awaited with bated breath (though they still are!), here is a change in society that allows one woman to hold within her the seed of another and gets detached from the child the minute it comes into this world. It was kind of difficult for mothers to digest this fact initially, but then the need for a bouncy bundle of joy superseded the techniques involved.

The Career Mom

Today of course, it’s a different scene, where mothers delve more into their respective careers. With the scarf clad, suited moms taking their stride in the corporate world; its sad but it’s a bit different from the picture of a plump lady at the side of the oven, baking delicious cookies. This has definitely made one profession come to the fore! That of nannies! Nannies today are deemed as being the more important species of humans as they hold the pre-dominant responsibilities of helping out with the upbringing of babies. We still have nannies to look after our little ones, another example of mothers being in demand. Isn’t it funny that we don’t have manservants when it comes to little tots! I think the reason is that instinctively; all women make the ultimate moms, when it comes to handling these toothless wonders. Although men may consider having their upper hand in just about anything, this is one domain area where they could never ever be termed as superior! Hurrah to Woman hood!!

By Prerna Salla

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Stay at Home Moms Vs. Working Moms

Raising kids is one of the most challenging tasks that awaits you in life. There are so many sacrifices to be made, so much of emotional stress to be dealt, but it's the sheer joy of watching your child grow up, that keeps you going. Since, child care is a full time job in itself, it would be important to decide for a couple how they are going to manage it. Mostly, the responsibility of nurturing the kids falls upon the shoulders of a woman. This is where the battle between stay at home moms vs. working moms comes into picture. Stay at home vs. working moms statistics shows that stay at home moms tend to be less educated, however, this may not be always the case. Many young women with sound educational background leave their bright careers for the joy of experiencing motherhood. Let us get acquainted with a few facts about stay at home moms vs. working moms. More on child development.

Stay at Home Moms vs. Working Moms: Facts

The planning for child care should start from the moment you decide to have a baby. Obviously, the decision about who would be staying at home with kids should also be made at that time itself. Although, raising kids is primarily considered as a woman's domain, it would be wise to make an exception if the woman has a challenging career with bright prospects, as compared to her spouse. However, more often than not, it is the woman herself who willingly decides to quit her job for caring for her kids. However, this decision may not be easy, especially if you won't have a reliable friend or relative to help with the child. Given below are some points that you should consider before making this big decision.

Can You Financially Afford to Leave Your Job?

Although, a full time day job essentially means a regular paycheck and extra cash at hand, it always may not be the case, if you decide to continue your job after childbirth. You definitely have to spend a large amount of your earnings on commutation, office wardrobe, taxes etc. If you opt to work full time, you will have to make arrangements for day care, baby sitter and other expenses, in addition to your regular work expenses. Considering that, will you still be able to save a large chunk of your earnings? If yes, then you should consider being a working woman, otherwise staying at home may suit you best. However, again make sure if you can afford to forgo your income and be able to cover your expenses in a single income.

Will You be Able to Cope with the Stress?

When you think about stay at home moms vs. working moms, stress is the factor that is invariably present in both the situations. Although, staying at home means more free time with your kids and spouse, you cannot forget that you will still have to do the housework yourself, without any help. Similarly, if you opt to work full time, you still cannot evade household responsibilities. Handling job stress along with housework and demanding children can make you crazy. On the other hand, if you find your career challenging and derive pleasure out of your job, you may be able to handle both the responsibilities with increased efficiency. Interaction with people at work can actually have a positive impact on your personality. This is something you might lose if you choose to stay at home. Many stay at home moms who had to forgo a challenging career for motherhood, suddenly find their life listless and depressing. Thus, you'll have to assess what kind of a person you are and what are your inclinations.

What are Your Prospects of Returning to Work?

Most women who give up their careers for raising children, hope to join workforce someday. However, while your kids grow up and you are ready to make a comeback, your skills or qualifications may have become obsolete, making your return pretty difficult. Hence, before quitting a promising career make sure your prospects of returning are good. Another option is to hone you skills and keep yourself updated with your corresponding field, while you are at home, caring for children. You may also consider this as an opportunity to learn new skills. Many stay at home moms work from home, or engage them in some 'stay at home moms jobs', so that they don't feel incompetent when they are ready to resume work.

By Ashwini Kulkarni

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Choosing Between Career and Kids

Michelle Carchrae

Every modern mom has had to decide, whether during the last months of pregnancy, maternity leave or while sitting at her desk at work, "Am I going to stay home with my baby? For how long?" Whether the decision seems easy or difficult, it is important enough to warrant careful thought and some introspection.

Working Mom or Stay at Home Mom?

If you're gazing down at your newborn trying to imagine putting on your work clothes and going out the door again, remember that this not a black or white decision! Choosing to stay at home for a while doesn't mean that you have to stay at home forever, and going back to work either full or part time does not mean that you will miss every special event in your child's life. Remember to keep your eyes peeled for career options that can allow you to find the work/life balance that suits you best, such as freelancing or becoming a contractor, job sharing, part time work, working from home or starting your own business.

Career Decisions Depend on the Age and Needs of Your Child

Apart from your own financial and intellectual needs, your child's needs can be a major factor in making the decision whether to go back to work and when. Certain situations mean that your child is more likely to need you or another dedicated caregiver willing to provide one-on-one care.

• Developmentally and emotionally, an infant needs his mother most during his first year.
• Does your child have an intense temperament, special needs or health issues?
• Are you exclusively breastfeeding your baby? If so, are you willing to pump milk or switch to formula when you go back to work?

Tune Out the Mommy Wars

There is no one right decision to the question of career or kids, so tune out anyone who tells you otherwise. Every mother must make her own decision based on her and her family's current needs, finances and beliefs. Books like Mommy Wars [Random House Trade Paperbacks, 2007. ISBN-10:0812974484] and The Feminine Mistake by Leslie Bennetts [Voice, 2008. ISBN-10: 1401309380] can either be food for thought or fuel for underlying anxieties, so take other people's opinions, no matter how highly regarded, with a very large grain of salt.

If the decision to go back to work or stay home with your baby has been a difficult one, remember that you can always change your mind. It is easy to think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, and sometimes you've got to go over there to see what it's really like. Choosing between career and kids is a choice that you can invent your own answer to by looking into different career options, making new choices as your child grows and most importantly, it's a choice that needs to feel right in your heart.

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Coping With Being a Single Working Mother

Being a single mother and working fulltime is a difficult task facing many women today. It is even more challenging when that mother is sending herself back to school.

Children’s Expectations of Their Parents

Children expect their parents to be around for them in every situation; when they wake up in the mornings, to get them ready for school and be home when they get back. They also expect their parents to be at special events such as sporting activities at school, school fairs, plays, and recitals.

For a single working mother, these expectations of their children can be challenging. Earning enough money to take care of the family is paramount and sacrifices have to be made to fulfill these responsibilities. When the father is not around to help share some of the responsibilities such as alternate in spending quality time with the children, attending their special events and supporting the household financially, then the mother is expected to carry out these roles alone.

This might prove impossible for her at times and guilt can set in. The single mother might feel that she is not being a good parent and that she has let down her child. Here are a few suggestions to try and cope in this difficult role:

Single Mum Takes Day off From Work

If the single mother has a regular 9 – 5 job that sees her off on the weekends, she should make it her priority to spend some quality time with her children. This can be done by doing household chores together. When going to buy groceries, make a trip out of it if possible; take the children along to help with the shopping. Have a movie night and pop some microwave popcorn or some other snacks of the children’s choice and sit with them, watching a movie of their choice.

Dealing With Kids’ Special Events

Make use of vacation and casual leave from work when the child has a special event to attend and try to attend as many as possible. The ones that the parent cannot attend, she should ask a close family member or friend to be present to give moral support to the child.

The weekends can also be used to take the children to places such as museums, the zoo, theme parks, the movies, the beach or any other place of their interest. Also, it is good to include the children in vacation trips locally or abroad where possible.

Since children expect their parents to be around and it is not always possible, it is important for the single mother to make use of her days off from work including vacation leave. As children grow older, they will understand the situation a little more.

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Uncle Sam: No Friend to Working Mothers

Written by Judith Stadtman Tucker

Saturday, 23 January 2010 21:59

News reports on women in the workplace typically highlight the tough decisions mothers face—when push comes to shove, should we put our careers, or our families, first?

Mothers in professional and managerial jobs are a receptive market for the career-coaching industry, which offers practical guidance on career planning, time management and setting personal boundaries as the key to work-life balance. Although individual success stories are cited as proof that women can indeed “have it all,” most U.S. mothers find themselves between a rock and a hard place when it comes to holding down a job and caring for their families. While women in mid- and upper-level professional positions may have some discretion over their daily work hours and are more likely than other women workers to have paid time off for family emergencies, a study by economist Heather Boushey found that fully two-thirds of employed mothers do not have enough job flexibility to meet their care-giving and personal needs.

Workplace culture and practices—from the rise of extreme jobs as the new executive norm to the chronic inflexibility of lower-wage working conditions—have contributed to the work-life squeeze for workers across the board. But unlike other industrial nations, the United States does little to protect the health and economic security of working families—and historically, has been especially resistant to public policies supporting maternal employment.

How bad is it? A report from the Institute for Health and Social Policy at McGill University shows the U.S. lagging behind all wealthy nations, as well as many middle- and low-income countries, on policies to assure the health and well-being of workers and families. For example:

*

Of 173 countries included in the study, 168 guarantee paid childbirth leave; 98 offer 14 or more weeks of paid maternity leave, and 66 provide a period of paid time off for new fathers. The five countries that do not provide any paid childbirth leave are the United States, Lesotho, Liberia, Papua New Guinea and Swaziland.

*

107 countries protect working women’s right to breastfeed, and in at least 73 of these countries lactation breaks are paid. The U.S. does not guarantee the right to breastfeed -- even though the American Academy of Pediatrics and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommend six months of exclusive breastfeeding for all infants.

*

At least 145 countries provide paid sick days for short- or long-term illnesses, with 136 providing a week or more annually. Nearly half of all private sector workers in the U.S., and more then three-quarters of low income workers, do not have the right to a single day of paid sick leave.

*

At least 134 countries regulate the maximum length of the work week. The U.S. does not, and does not limit mandatory overtime per week.

For millions of working parents, these policy shortfalls mean having to choose between leaving a sick child home alone or losing a day’s pay (or getting fired). For women in the professional sector, fall-out from the motherhood penalty is usually more subtle. Nevertheless, maternity remains a significant drag factor on women’s earnings and employment outcomes -- a phenomenon work-life researchers call “hitting the maternal wall.” If managers and co-workers interpret a mother’s request to work fewer or more flexible hours as a lack of commitment, she may find her promising career sidelined on a less rewarding “mommy track.” Or employers may assume a mother with young children will pass up a promotion requiring overnight travel and offer the plum assignment to someone with less experience (and fewer family responsibilities). Legal experts note the recent increase in litigation resulting from employer discrimination against workers with caregiving responsibilities, a pattern known as “family responsibilities discrimination,” or FRD. FRD can be as blatant as a supervisor telling a worker she can either be a good employee or a good mother but not both at the same time, or as insidious as reassigning a talented achiever to a dead-end job when she returns from maternity leave.

Women have come a long way in the workplace, but the combined effects of family-unfriendly social policy, outdated management models favoring control over flexibility, and entrenched attitudes about gender roles create substantial barriers to mothers’ occupational advancement and long-term economic security. The net effect is more women and children living in poverty and lacking health care coverage in the U.S. than in any other economically developed nation. Mothers are particularly vulnerable to hardship when they are single, widowed or divorced, or when a spouse is unemployed. If you think the causes and consequences of America’s motherhood problem are irrelevant to mothers who manage to stay on the corporate leadership track, think again. Every mother is affected, and most are at risk.

Our society relies on mothers, fathers, grandparents and other adults to provide the continuous stream of care children need to stay healthy and grow well, and to assist our elderly with daily life needs. Our economy depends on women’s labor force participation in every industry sector. The suggestion that women who want to stay on top of their professional game should simply forgo motherhood or have only one child discounts women’s rights and humanity, and has little bearing for the vast majority of working women whose jobs will never convey special status or social power. (And needless to say, similar advice is rarely directed to professionally ambitious men.) Individual bargaining can only take us so far. It’s time to level the playing field.

What can working mothers do? Support advocacy organizations and legislators committed to bringing U.S. health and employment policy into the 21st century. At a minimum, an effective array of work-life policies will include universal health care coverage, 12 to 24 weeks of paid family and medical leave, a guarantee of at least seven paid sick days for all workers, imposing a cap on mandatory overtime, strengthening equal pay laws to include part-time workers and require active enforcement of the Equal Pay Act, and assure that every family who wants and needs it has access to affordable high-quality child and elder care.

Will these reforms be costly? Yes. But not as costly to women and families—and ultimately, our society—as sticking to business as usual.

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Job Opportunities For British Mothers in Spain

Not every expat British woman in Spain can afford or wants to be a lady of leisure basking in the sun all day. The cost of living in Spain is gradually increasing and British mothers have to and want to work. Traditionally, they have been employed in the real estate sector. However, due to a rapid decline in the sale of property, nowadays opportunities within this sector are virtually none. So women are being forced out into other sectors, competing with each other for limited positions.
Lack Of Further Education And Training Opportunities
The choices are even further limited for those that aren’t fluent in Spanish. Many women find themselves having to settle for more inferior jobs than they would in the UK. Sadly, their progression prospects are limited as there aren’t the opportunities that the UK has on offer. There isn’t an adult education system in English that we take for granted in the UK nor training programmes. Consequently, women become stuck. Whereas in the UK, they could pursue a new career path by returning to education, if they lose their jobs in Spain, there isn’t the option.
Employers Take Advantage
Unfortunately, employers are all too aware of the scarcity of job opportunities so are more likely to take advantage of the vulnerable position that expat women are in. Some of their unfair tactics include paying solely on commission, so no guaranteed salary and not offering proper working contracts, thus not guaranteeing any form of job security. Since women aren’t fully aware of the employment laws, in some respects they are taking themselves back in time by moving to Spain.
Inflexible Timetable
Mothers of young children that work find the Spanish timetable very inflexible and end up spending less time with their children than they would have done had they stayed in the UK working full time. Unlike Spanish mothers who generally have family support on hand, British mothers are forced to arrange childcare for the early evenings when they return to work at five until nine, even ten for those employed in retail positions. Those who work in bars and restaurants won’t get home until the early hours. It makes finishing at five in the UK far more appealing.
Working With Partners
It is understandable that many women resort to supporting their partners in the running of their businesses. However, this is not always ideal. Spending so much time working together doesn’t allow partners time or space to develop their own career individual interests.
Entrepreneurial Women
It seems that instead of looking for employment, there is a need for expat women to be entrepreneurial and driven enough to set up their own businesses and services. This could be anything from property management to local newspapers funded by advertising. If you have a skill such as massage or playing an instrument, this could open other avenues for you. Sometimes it pays to be a little bit resourceful to succeed in Spain. Setting up your own business certainly isn’t for the faint hearted and requires a tremendous amount of energy and effort. The truth is it’s easier said than done especially when you are a mother and expected to run a home too.

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