Choosing Between Career and Kids

Michelle Carchrae

Every modern mom has had to decide, whether during the last months of pregnancy, maternity leave or while sitting at her desk at work, "Am I going to stay home with my baby? For how long?" Whether the decision seems easy or difficult, it is important enough to warrant careful thought and some introspection.

Working Mom or Stay at Home Mom?

If you're gazing down at your newborn trying to imagine putting on your work clothes and going out the door again, remember that this not a black or white decision! Choosing to stay at home for a while doesn't mean that you have to stay at home forever, and going back to work either full or part time does not mean that you will miss every special event in your child's life. Remember to keep your eyes peeled for career options that can allow you to find the work/life balance that suits you best, such as freelancing or becoming a contractor, job sharing, part time work, working from home or starting your own business.

Career Decisions Depend on the Age and Needs of Your Child

Apart from your own financial and intellectual needs, your child's needs can be a major factor in making the decision whether to go back to work and when. Certain situations mean that your child is more likely to need you or another dedicated caregiver willing to provide one-on-one care.

• Developmentally and emotionally, an infant needs his mother most during his first year.
• Does your child have an intense temperament, special needs or health issues?
• Are you exclusively breastfeeding your baby? If so, are you willing to pump milk or switch to formula when you go back to work?

Tune Out the Mommy Wars

There is no one right decision to the question of career or kids, so tune out anyone who tells you otherwise. Every mother must make her own decision based on her and her family's current needs, finances and beliefs. Books like Mommy Wars [Random House Trade Paperbacks, 2007. ISBN-10:0812974484] and The Feminine Mistake by Leslie Bennetts [Voice, 2008. ISBN-10: 1401309380] can either be food for thought or fuel for underlying anxieties, so take other people's opinions, no matter how highly regarded, with a very large grain of salt.

If the decision to go back to work or stay home with your baby has been a difficult one, remember that you can always change your mind. It is easy to think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, and sometimes you've got to go over there to see what it's really like. Choosing between career and kids is a choice that you can invent your own answer to by looking into different career options, making new choices as your child grows and most importantly, it's a choice that needs to feel right in your heart.

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