Glass Ceiling Blues - What Successful Women Executives Won't Tell You During Their Exit Interview

By Steven Grant

The Customer Research Center (CRC) recently talked with two incredibly successful female professionals about the dirty little Fortune 500 secret that everyone knows about and no one talks about. One of these women, President of her own Internet consulting firm, is a living definition of smarts and tenacity; successfully shepherding her team through the Dot.Com crash and into custom website design efforts for high end brands. The other woman is just starting her own consulting firm; bailing out of a Fortune 500 with one client in tow to launch her own business. Our conversation focused on the large numbers of highly competent aspiring women executives, poised between one or two decades of grinding servitude and the upper echelon rewards bestowed on the top 1%, who are turning their pumps away from the golden ladder and taking the stairs out.

These cadres of highly skilled, highly intelligent next generation CEO's are walking away from the promise of rewards for the certitude of rewarding themselves. Their standard exit line to the puzzled companies who were just getting ready to tap them on the shoulder for that next promotion is: "I'd like to spend more time with my family." What these two career women clued us in to is that line is just a line, the real reason is too awful to reveal. Both of these successful, intelligent women knew that if they told the truth they would be stoned-no, scratch that, that interview was in Iran-they knew they could never go back to the company afterward, if they ever wanted their old jobs back.

The real reason these women are leaving is because the corporate ladder provides an escalator for the men and a greased pole for the women. Yes, Virginia, Santa Claus still thinks you should be baking gingerbread cookies, not running the $1.7 billion toy manufacturing facility in Guangdong.

There is a fundamental cultural distinction at the heart of this unfairness. Women believe in meritocracy, men believe in winning. When a project falls apart a woman is likely to say, "I wasn't a good enough leader." If a project succeeds a woman is likely to say, "I had a great team." We're hoping we don't need to spell out the logical inversion of those statements that would tumble from the tongues of men.

A male executive, hearing these statements from women, begins to think, "Maybe she isn't a good enough leader" or "Maybe the team is carrying her." The male executives, in similar circumstances, are naturally inclined to braggadocio, back slapping, feather preening, and urinating on their beards-no, no that was the article about pygmy goats-to focus attention on them and garner as much credit as possible for the minimum investment of their own energy. This is simple Darwinian logic copied over the millennia from the genes of our woolly ancestors.

In reality most firms are still hierarchical patriarchies, even when they're run by women, and far from the meritocracies for which these women originally forsook hearth and home in search of a career. Instead of saying, "I'd like to spend more time with my family." these women want to say, "I'm sick of all the incompetent jackasses getting the promotions because they kiss your behind. I could make better decisions in less time than it takes them to zip up their pants."

So someone has to tell these clueless guys the truth before they burn out the next generation of females. Wake up and make some coffee guys. There's a clear choice between the Tao of blissfully ignorant backslapping devolution and a whole new generation of career women who are going to skip the butt kissing part and go right for the kicking.

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Learn how to be a successful woman

How can I be a successful woman? You can start by never being a victim. This article aims its message at those women who strive to be strong, independent women. Women should always try to be self-reliant. Many times the only thing separating a woman from success is her level of self-esteem. Sadly, so many women view themselves as subservient or worth less than men.

Many times this is because of a lack of education or work experience. So many homemakers especially view themselves as "just Moms and housewives".

This is a dangerous way in which to view our accomplishments. The jobs that a homemaker or mom is responsible are among the most important in the world. If we as citizens give credit where credit is due, as well as wages, then this would be the highest paid social class by far. Sadly, this is not the case

Any woman who runs a house is qualified to be a CEO. Just poll women, they will confirm this. Too often the role of women is that of nursemaid and maid. Although many of us women truly love our role of caregiver, others want to be recognized as much more- a successful woman!

We need to have other "normal" women as role models. When we see intelligent and very successful women that were homemakers and "nursemaids" if you will, that is when women will no longer have to strive to be a success.

A good role model is what can mold a woman into a strong, well-defined woman. Not all of us are lucky enough to have had a strong influence from the women in our lives, though. Mentors are also a priceless commodity to any woman.

By forming a sense of community and sisterhood, women are able to accomplish so much. In this manner, women are also able to inspire the young women of tomorrow with visions of success. The best vision for a young girl to have is that of a good education.

An education is the best defense for any problem that a woman may encounter with her self-confidence and self-esteem. This is also the best defense against remaining reliant or dependent on anyone for her care. Women that are a success are not just corporate executives, but also homemakers. Be leaders in your community so that young girls see that they can emulate your success.

Young girls are not the only ones who should see their mothers and other female community member's being visible leaders, but so too should young men. When a man is raised by a strong woman that instills a sense of respect for women, he is better prepared for life in this new century that is filled with a need for continued equal rights.

A woman who prepares her son in this manner is also giving him the best gift- a better chance at a successful relationship or marriage. Men that see their wives as equals and whom show them respect are much less likely to experience relational difficulties with women.

Through education, community, and self-esteem, men and women can both work together to form a community that will be a much better world for our youth.

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Obtaining Success as A Work at Home Mom

I used to think that "work from home" internet opportunities were all a scam. I had heard of some that really were and plus it just sounded too good to be true. I went to college and graduate school, and got a great job in the workforce like most of the other people I knew....then I had children. At first I stayed home with my daughter, but pretty soon we needed money, so I began searching for a part-time job. I searched through hundreds of newspaper ads, websites, etc. Finally I found a decent job working about 15 hours a week. The pay was decent, it was the hours I wanted, it all sounded good...then reality began to set in. My first task was to find a babysitter. No problem I thought, there are tons of great daycares around my house. Wrong! There may have been plenty, but almost every single one of them was full. I finally managed to find one that would take my daughter, but only if she was walking eating table foods, and off the bottle....and it would cost $145 for three days a week!? Although I was making almost three times minimum wage, I ended up profiting about $25 a week after I paid the daycare and for the gas in my van! Not only that, but I was constantly stressed out trying to keep the house clean, work, get everything packed and ready for the next day, etc. At that point I was willing to try anything...even "work form home" internet opportunities.

When I first sat down and began researching all of the different opportunities, I felt completely overwhelmed. There seemed to be thousands and thousands of opportunities, all of them claiming that THEY were the best way to make money online. I didn't even know where to start. As I began sorting through them, I came to the conclusion that they could be broken down into several categories: Envelope stuffing, assembly or craft work, chain letters, medical billing, affiliate programs, sales (ebay, etc.), and online investing. While there can be scams in any of these categories, there can also be success. The key is to find something that you are interested in and are good at, find jobs in that area, and research them thoroughly before you jump right in. If you are able to find your niche, your income potential is limitless. I have been working from home for over a year now, and it was the best decision I ever made. I play with my kids most of the day and work when they are taking their naps or in bed for the night. Our whole family is happier and less stressed and I am doing so well that we are looking to buy a bigger house!

By Heather Hain

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WAHM Work At Home Moms - Your Success

You've made the important decision to stay at home with your kids -- Now what?

Work at home moms (WAHM) are very special women indeed. You've made a choice to stay home and take care of your children, your family, your home. And now more than ever, your schedule has to be very flexible in order for you to be there for your kids.

For WAHM work at home moms, working outside the home is no longer an option for you. And that probably meant giving up a job, a career and a second income. It's a sacrifice, one that's more than worth it.

So your family gets by on one income and you find yourself making adjustments.

Now while you're at home, you find yourself looking for ways to fulfill your need to be an individual, to have other interests, to be creative.

You also look for opportunities to generate some extra income for your family to meet those emergency needs, to help pay the bills, help with the holidays, clothing, vacations, or money toward your children's education.

But for WAHM work at home moms, you need an opportunity that will allow you to be completely flexible, be able to spend as much time as you want with your kids and maintaining your home.

So you continue to sacrifice and be a one income family.

But what if you found an opportunity that offered you all the freedom you need to be with your family as a stay at home mom?

And what if you were also able to generate extra money for your family doing something you enjoy or something you have a passion for? Read on.

Would you like to be able to take something you know and turn it into your success?

Imagine -- Being able to stay at home with your children, take care of your family, your home and being able to generate extra income or even a full time income for your family.

Well you can!

Do you have a hobby, an interest, something you know, something you enjoy, something you have a passion for? Of course you do -- We all do.

And you can take whatever that is for you and turn it into a successful business for you and your family.

Thousands of WAHM work at home moms just like you have turned their interest into a profitable website making a very good passive income. And most of them did it without knowing anything about the internet. And so can you.

A man named Ken Evoy put together an all-in-one, easy to use web hosting service called Site Build It! (SBI!), but he went one step farther. He gathered together a team of successful WAHM work at home moms and had them put together a special guide to help other moms just like you become successful on the internet.

Written BY work at home moms, FOR work at home moms, this excellent tool takes you through the process step by step and in detail. The end result for you is a professional website, one you will enjoy creating.

All that and you don't have to be involved in the technical side, you get to create and build your site, concentrating on your success.

Many of the moms even get their children involved in their websites.

Yes, you can have it all. You can stay at home with your kids, your family and maintain your home. And you can have a profitable online business generating passive income or selling your own products online.

At the end of this article I provide you with a link you can visit where you'll discover people just like you that have turned something they enjoy into their success. And you can ask all the questions you want.

WAHM work at home moms like you have made the important decision to stay at home with your kids. Now you can stay at home with your kids, keep your flexible schedule and have a successful online business that you'll love building while generating either an extra or full time income for your family.

WAHM work at home moms I salute you --- And here's to your success.

By Mike Dougherty

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15 Steps for Successful Strategic Alliances (and Marriages)

Wedding bells fill the Northern Hemisphere air for this season's happy couples. Among the newlyweds armed with pre-nuptial agreements are numerous companies starting strategic alliances, joint ventures, and focused collaboratives.

Unlike full-blown mergers, in which two really do become one because one company disappears, alliances and partnerships resemble modern marriages: separate careers, individual checkbooks, sometimes different names, but the need to work out the operational overlap around household and offspring.

For many years, I've helped major companies and other organizations extract value from their strategic alliances or watch them disappear. I've developed a 15-step guide to ensuring success as every stage of the relationship, from courtship to ongoing success (first reported in my book World Class).

So here is my business marriage counseling advice. Any resemblances to personal marriages or advice for June newlyweds are strictly intentional.

1. Be open to romance, but court carefully. At the beginning of new relationships, selective perceptions reinforce dreams, not dangers. Potential partners see in the other what they want to see, believing what they want to believe. Hopes, dreams, and visions should be balanced by reality checks.

2. Know yourself. Build your strengths. An organization seeking partners should identify assets that have value to partners and strengthen them. Networks of the weak do not survive. The best alliances join strength to strength.

3. Seek compatibility in values. In rapidly changing environments, compatibility in values, philosophy and goals is more important than specific features of an immediate business deal. The basis for collaboration must be more enduring, and there must be a foundation for mutual trust to help weather inevitable changes or problems.

4. Treat the 'extended family' respectfully. Include other partners and stakeholders. Rapport between leaders of partner organizations is not enough. Other people and organizations who are the 'relatives' in each organizations' extended family must also be won over.

5. Put the lawyers in their place. Leader-to-leader relationships are important. Partnerships and network formation shouldn't be turned over to third-party professionals, such as staff analysts, lawyers, consultants, or deal-brokers.

6. Vow to work together until business conditions do us part. Commit to a first project, to exploring growth in the relationship, to monitor change, and to remain friends if changing conditions require a graceful exit.

7. But don't count on the contract. Formal agreements can't anticipate everything, and interpretations of the agreement vary — even within the same organization.

8. So keep communicating, face-to-face. Matters are more easily sorted out when partners' leaders keep talking long after their initial deal-making and dedicate people to watch over the relationship — a partner or alliance 'ambassador' (the equivalent of key account managers).

9. Spread involvement. Create more ties for more people. Alliances begin with a few direct connections among top leaders. As projects unfold, more people at more levels must get involved, and they need to feel connected, too — that they know their counterparts in their partner organization. The more people feel included, the more they have a chance to see the others face-to-face and come to know them, the easier it will be to implement partnership activities.

10. Build organizational bridges — formal structures. Active collaboration occurs when organizations develop structures, processes, and skills for bridging organizational and interpersonal differences and getting value from the relationship. Bridges include formal governance (a partnership board), joint project teams, and alliance ambassadors.

11. Respect differences. Alliances, partnerships, and networks are most helpful when they involve differences — when partners give each other something they do not already have. But differences in "specialty" desired by partners are accompanied by more "inconvenient" differences in behavioral style, motives and goals, operating methods, or cultural assumptions. Respect is essential. Time must be invested in understanding differences and transcending them.

12. Teach partners. Learn from partners. People from across the partnership network must become teachers as well as learners. Often the ultimate value of a partnership is the new knowledge and skill it brings. Organizations that derive greater value from their alliances tend to have greater communication internally, share more information, and promote an atmosphere of learning.

13. Be prepared to change yourself. Partners must be willing to be influenced by one another. To make linkages possible requires operating compatibilities, project by project and sometimes even in a larger sense. This can mean learning the other's language and style or inventing a new one; changing to the other's system or creating a joint one.

14. Help everyone win. Mutuality is the hallmark of organizational collaboration. Balancing benefits so that each partner gets something of equivalent value can be hard to do in the short run, but it is essential in the long run. The best alliances try to maximize the value of the whole relationship, which then makes it more valuable to each partner.

15. Get closer, change course, or exit gracefully. Like living systems, relationships evolve. Change should be expected. But the best guarantee that organizations will be closer in the future is success in what they try to achieve today. Success strengthens relationships.

To ensure that your partnerships are effective, apply these principles at every stage of the relationship. Then toast the benefits of happy marriages!

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The Real Key to Success, Internet Jobs for Moms

The one proven technique that will take you from step one all the way to making money online- and how you can get your hands on it today to improve your financial future within a month. Really think about this for a moment - What will you do with the extra $100 a day you will make by using these proven techniques?

Do you have the time and money to do the thing you want in life? If you’re like me then time and money are something you strive for. With every month that passes by do you fall farther behind financially with no hope in site?

Are collection agencies calling you everyday asking when and how much you can pay them? Maybe you’re even looking at bankruptcy as your last option. Would you rather keep on doing what you’re doing or would you like to start improving your financial situation?

Then you need to take action and do whatever it takes to learn these proven techniques. It’s not your fault that you are in the situation that you are. You should blame the school systems for not teaching people about money or maybe the media for making people think they need everything they see. There are too many reasons to list them all.

Imagine what it would be like to have the time and money to do everything you want. You could quit your job and finally live the life of your dreams.

Maybe you would take the kids on a vacation or just spend more time with them. If you had enough time and money you could do anything.

You’re obviously intelligent enough to know that with the right training it’s possible to make a living online. I have discovered a course that teaches you exactly how to get started.

You do not need any special skills or to be a computer genius. You will learn every single step needed to make money online, like keyword research, SEO, niche markets and LSI.

By Ali Lily

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A Woman's Guide to Success in the Kremlin

In the man's world that is Russia, a woman's work is rarely in the corridors of power. But that may change now that the only female candidate in the last presidential election has written a guide on how to get ahead in the testosterone-fuelled world of Moscow's political elite.

Irina Khakamada, a former junior minister who polled 3.8% of the vote in March 2004, launched her memoir, Sex in Big Politics, yesterday. The book advises politically ambitious women on how to get on in politics. She said: "There are unwritten rules. You can't read them in the constitution, so I explain how it happens in real life. It's difficult, sophisticated advice, and very wise.

"I explain what kind of clothes are openly sexual and excite men," she said, adding that these "have to be thrown out ... But at the same time, I explain how to conserve your femininity".

In an extract in a tabloid paper yesterday, she recounted how the corridors of parliament smelled of alcohol by the evening, and recalled meeting President Vladimir Putin for the first time during a theatre interval. She said on approaching him she put one high-heeled foot far forward, and the other backwards, lowering her body so she could meet the diminutive president at eye level. "We had a nice chat," she wrote.

"Power in Russia is very Byzantine," she said, adding that your level of favour with the prime minister can be measured by how he greets you. "If it's according to Russian tradition [three kisses on alternate cheeks], you'll be in your job for at least the next six months."

© Guardian News &amp

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Expect Success to Stay Self-Motivated and Get Great Results

By Caterina Rando, MA, MCC

If you called my office you will hear my voice mail message that ends with the words Expect Success.

Theres a important intent behind that. What if every time we made a phone call or personal request or met with a potential new customer, you expected you would be successful? Do you think your behavior would be different?

If we truly expected success we would make more phone calls, make more requests and schedule more appointments. And that would result in more business, more income, more ease in our workday, and more overall success.

When we call people or meet with them, we have to hold the attitude that we are offering them an opportunity. An important opportunity, and maybe even the perfect opportunity for them. If they do not go for it, thats fine. Our responsibility to ourselves is to make the offer. It doesnt matter what the thoughts and actions of the other person are; it doesnt matter whether they agree to what you are offering or not. What matters is that you go for what you want all the time, every time, and are as proactive and confident as you would be if you knew you could not miss.

As you well know success is not a destination we arrive at; it is an attitude we hold along the way. All the joy of our professional lives is not in the outcome, but in the process. Do not rob yourself of the satisfaction that lies on the path along the wayenjoy every call you place, every order you take, every presentation you make. Revel in the process of being a successtoday.

To expect more success, more of the time, follow these steps:

- Acknowledge all the small successes in the process. Count your wins daily. Wins are all those things that go your way in a given daythe letter you wrote, the VIP you finally got hold of, the parking ticket you eluded, the compliment you received.

- Smile. Both psychologically and physiologically, this simple, easy action improves our well-being, which improves our outlook, which prepares us for all the great things we are expecting to happen to us. To become fit and healthy from a success standpoint, give your smile muscles a workout just like the rest of your body.

- Hold your success attitude in your body. Stand up straight, raise your chin up, keep your shoulders back and feet firmly planted. Feel the power of personal success in every cell in your body.

- Create a compelling success image in your mind. Once you expect your success, see it. Imagine it vividly and in colorwhat are you doing, where are you, what are you wearing, how does it feel like in your body? Make your success as real as possible in your mind, so your expectancy is even stronger and, as a result, your actions even bigger.

- Use an affirmation or set an intentions. State to yourself over and over what you intend to create today. State your intentions verbally, out loud to yourself; state them silently, in your mind; and record them on a cassette tape so that you can listen to yourself stating what you expect to create in your life.

- Beyond Affirming, Feel It. Do not stop at the mental part of expecting success. Also feel it in your body. You have felt the good feeling of connecting, achieving, realizing what you want.

- Be bold. Do all those things today that you know you will do when you are more successful. That is how you will create the success you strive for in your business and life.

You will never be more successful than you expect you can be. Greet every day with the belief that good things are going to happen to you. Expect to be successful with your calls, appointments and projects. Your work life will be enriched; you will take more risks, make more requests, and seize more opportunities. That will result in a better life, and that is what success is all about. I say that people who expect success not only think they are more successful, they actually are more successful. I urge you to vigorously and fully prove this theory in your own life.

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Women Need To Ask!; Men Ask More, Men Get More

Nancy Clark

 OK women, we have a problem. We haven’t realized the magnitude of this problem yet. But as soon as each of you do, you’ll be eager to start making a small change in your behavior. I emphasize small change—you’ll find this quite doable.

OK—the problem. In business, men get more things than women—including money. Is it because male and female bosses favor men? Is it because they think men deserve more? No on both counts—it’s because men ask for more stuff—including money.

At WomensMedia we’ve heard women in their 20’s and 30’s say, “Oh, that’s a problem that older women have. That’s not a problem for us.” Wrong. In fact, Internet surveys show it’s slightly worse for younger women. So, no matter what your age group, you need to realize this problem affects you. The reason I’m blogging is because I don’t want you to be naïve and end up disappointed with the workplace. This can be avoided.

OK, next. Here’s one piece of evidence, among many that point to the same result. Linda Babcock, while a professor of economics at Carnegie Mellon University, wondered why male graduate students in her department were teaching courses of their own while female graduate students were acting as teaching assistants to the regular faculty. To her surprise, she discovered that the men went to the department head with a class proposal in hand and a budget request—the women didn’t. It was not a case of discrimination. It was a case of women being naïve as to how the game can be played.

To take her investigation one step further, Linda researched the starting salaries these men and women received after they completed graduate school. The starting salaries of the men were about $4,000 higher. When she asked who negotiated a salary, rather than accepting the initial offer, she had the answer to the big WHY. Eight—EIGHT— times as many men as women asked for more money. Now I know we can safely assume these were smart women who know their numbers—they completed graduate school, in economics no less.

That shows smart, well-educated women can be as naïve as the rest of us. Fortunately, the solution is quite doable. Up your rate of ASKING. Ask for more money of course, but also ask for things that will make your job easier, things that will boost your resume, things that will make your life more enjoyable—why not, while you’re at it? Start your list in these categories. And start asking.

Tip: Take the first step in changing your behavior by asking for something small that you want. It doesn’t have to be money. It can be paid attendance at a conference, a change in your office environment, a change in your job description, or something else that will make a difference to you. Be prepared to ask 3 times to establish the thought, “This is a woman who doesn’t give up.” This is necessary to overcome the stereotype that women back down more easily than men. Don’t admit it, but it’s true too often!

Make a Difference: After you’ve successfully received something you’ve asked for, pass the good idea along. Select a woman who deserves more than she’s receiving—because she’s not asking—and pass the idea along to her. Tell her that when she’s successful, she will feel as good as you feel passing this along.

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Six Subtle Moves That Hold Women Back From Success

By Lisa Johnson Mandell


It's not that women are supposed to act, dress and sound like men to get ahead in the workplace, but there are a number of gestures women commonly use that denote vulnerability and fragility, rather than power and authority. In a blog called "7 Behaviors that Keep Women from Getting Ahead," Dan Erwin cites an article by Mary Ellen Drummond many years ago, which still applies to many women today.

I know I'm guilty of several, and have been advised by managers and producers to "cut that out if you ever want to go anywhere." Check out these half-dozen behaviors that prevent you from "looking like you mean it."

1. Nodding your head a lot when listening. Women often nod their heads to encourage the speaker to go on, but this connotes approval and agreement when often none is intended or required, and you can end up looking like a bobble-head doll. Men usually nod their heads only to show agreement, or to indicate that they are about to make a point. Constant head nodding can express encouragement, but not authority.

2. Not taking up enough physical space. By this we mean stand firm and tall, shoulders out, head up. When sitting at a table or desk, spread out -- your papers, you laptop, your pad and pens. Let everyone know you're there -- don't try to blend in. By receding or folding in, it looks as if you're trying not to inconvenience anyone. Take ownership of as much space as possible; that sends a powerful message.

3. "Uptalking." Women's voices often rise at the ends of sentences as if they're asking a question even when making a statement. For example: "On that report I completed? It says that viral marketing is more effective?" It implies you're asking for approval, rather than stating a fact. Most women are not aware that they do this, and it's a particular habit with the young -- students and the freshly graduated. Speak with authority and periods, not with tentativeness and question marks.

4. Fidgeting. Are you constantly adjusting your clothing, hair, jewelry, purse, cell phone, etc.? Although the study was done several years ago, Drummond cites that when women enter a room, they make 27 movements. Men make 12. When you appear calm and contained, you appear powerful. Fidgeting implies nervousness.

5. Tilting your head. Women often tilt their heads when they talk. They think that directing an ear toward someone says that they are listening. Instead, it appears as if you're distracted or trying to deflect the message. If looking directly into someone's eyes is disconcerting, look just below their eyes at their cheeks or nose. But look directly at them and don't tilt your head. This, again, is something most women don't even realize they're doing; but if they watch videos of themselves, they'll note it happening.

6. Introducing yourself too quickly. It's common for a woman to say, "Hi, I'm Jane Smith," right off the bat. But studies have shown that people seldom remember anything that's said in the first 5-7 seconds because they're too busy checking each other out, and visually processing whoever is in front of them. When meeting someone new, wait a few seconds before introducing yourself. Instead make a comment about the environment, event, etc. first, then introduce yourself.

The good news is that most of these bad behaviors are learned, so they can also be unlearned. You might want to ask a family member, friend or co-worker to bring it to your attention when some of these negative nuances creep in. They might drive you nuts at first -- but you'll thank them for it later, when colleagues start showing a renewed respect.

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