Stress management techniques for busy mothers

1. Identify the cause. Be aware of the issues that are generating stress. Do not ignore the slightest hint and try to perceive how the body reacts emotionally and physically. Accordingly, determine how you can change the surroundings to avoid, curtail or eliminate stress completely from your life. Have a control over your conduct and try to moderate the physical and emotional reactions under stressful circumstances. Medications bring short term relief of course, but control over one’s self is the most important key.

2. Let it out. Bottling up anger and pushing aside problems only result in building up of intense emotions. Talk with a friend or a family member who understands. Relationships and communications are great stress reducers. Emotional support from a person who cares for you goes a long way and makes life much easier. Plenty of social activities will automatically solve a lot of problems busy mothers face at work or in their domestic life.

3. Think positively. Women have a tendency to brood over matters which they think they could have done better. This tendency to self-suffer makes them more open to stress. So, let it go. Instead, admit to the failures, shortcomings, agonies, sacrifices and imperfections and focus on the positive aspects of life. Make a plan and figure out how you can perform better the next time.

4. Make new friends. Making acquaintances apart from the colleagues at work is very important because the friends from work place tend to discuss topics related to work which is the main thing that ties them all together. Friendships that take place outside the work area broadens the mind, helps share personal interests and experiences and provide opportunities to indulge in activities together unrelated to work like jogging or swimming, going to a movie or a health spa or a picnic.

5. Take a day off. Usually the wife is the one looking after the kids, picking up after them, feeding and bathing them in addition to all other regular household chores. Let your husband do the chores for one day of the week every week while you relax on the sofa and turn on some music. Talk with your husband, explain and schedule a workday for him.

6. Take it slow, enjoy motherhood. Mothers, working or not, are always hard pressed for time. So, they are always on the run. Rushing down to the grocery store after putting the toddler hurriedly in the car seat, flying up and down the stairs with the laundry, cooking a fast meal for self, cleaning the kitchen in five minutes all become regular routine and when the mother finally finds time to catch up on her favorite TV show, the baby starts bawling in the crib. There will always be something to be done. Strike off two or three things that you know can wait from your to-do list. Start your day before everyone in your household does. Wake up one hour earlier and enjoy a nice, warm cup of coffee at peace in your kitchen. Take a stroll in your neighborhood and admire the smiling daisies, the lush greens and take in as much fresh morning air as you can. Drive slower than usual on your way back from work. Slow walking helps release the stress. So, go out with your baby in the stroller during the evening hours after you are back from work and watch the sun go down. Listen to music in the evening, dance to the tunes with your baby and fill yourself with a refreshing pleasure.

7. Laugh a lot. Correctly evaluate a situation and stop blaming yourself for another person’s mistakes. Attack stress with the laughter weapon. Laughter medicine releases disease fighting antibodies, stimulates heart and lungs, relieves muscle tension, increases longevity and improves oxygen supply in the blood. Hearty laughter needs no effort at all. Invest a little in jokes books or funny cartoon magazines, hang around with people with good sense of humor or simply play with your kids and pets in your backyard after a long work day and rejuvenate your soul.

8. Diet and exercise. There is so less time for busy mothers to take care of themselves that either they can’t think about exercising or they are too tired at the end of the day to do some sit ups. But, mothers, here is a good and affordable solution to your problem. Exercising three or four times a week builds up your physical reserves and helps you fight stress more efficiently. Moderate and slow exercises like cycling, walking, aerobics, swimming and jogging can be very effective to ward off stress. Exercises help you sleep better and start a whole new day with new vigor and an enhanced feeling of self esteem.

9. Indulge yourself with Yoga and meditation. The rewards of yoga are endless, both physically and mentally. Setting up and honestly following a fitness regime which is both enjoyable and exhilarating both calms the mind and strengthens the body, giving you the boost, much needed by busy mothers, to carry yourself further. Practiced for centuries, yoga massages the internal organs as well as energizes the soul. It stimulates the muscles in the various body parts in a non-strenuous manner and brings about flexibility in those areas which were never so much worked upon before thus stimulating active blood circulation which means efficient transport of nutrients attributing to delayed ageing, a boost in stamina, improved digestion, dodging disability, enhanced breathing, rejuvenation of skin and radiation of confidence. You will discover a new vigor in life. Most importantly, the goal of yoga is to attune body with mind and soul. It requires only 15-20 minutes each morning to practice yoga. Regular practice of yoga will relieve you of physical pain and stress giving you a positive outlook towards life and enlightenment of soul. It is the exercise of the body as well as the mind. Thousands have been aroused by yoga’s magical touch and have benefited from it. In essence, the centuries’ old healing touch of yoga will transform your life at the spiritual level.

10. Pamper yourself with Aromatherapy. The word aromatherapy actually means the use of essential oils (many of which have magnificent aromas) found in various plant parts like flowers, seeds, fruits, leaves, bark or wood in a curative manner. Aroma or essence is found everywhere and it influences our mood in a wide variety of ways. Aromas of some spices like cinnamon and cardamom in the kitchen water the mouth while lavender and chamomile scented candles around the tub soothe the nervous system. Rose petals in bathing water improve the skin texture, dried citrus fruits freshen the indoor air and sandalwood powder alleviates stress. Aroma of ginger in tea eases cold symptoms and meditating with the use of jasmine incense in a dimly lit room and a restful environment calms the mind and sets the mood.

It is extremely difficult for busy mothers to find time to pamper them with the elaborate techniques of aromatherapy. But one thing is for sure. It is a sure shot stress buster. So, if the busy mother can find time, there is no alternative to aromatherapy.

Some aromatherapy techniques:

a) Massage- is the key to longevity. When we massage ourselves or receive a massage with essential oils, the oils lubricate the skin and are absorbed by the body. They enter through the pores in the skin, seep through the tissues and reach the bloodstream, which helps them reach the various organs of the body. The exhilarating aroma of the oils refreshes and relaxes the mind, rejuvenates the skin and cools down the body.

Recipe for massage:

3 drops of olive oil

2 drops of neem oil

2 drops of sandalwood oil

3 drops of arachis oil

3 drops of lavender oil

Mix the oils and gently massage all over the body after bath when the body is most receptive.

b) Meditation- Fragrances enter the human body through the nasal pores and stimulate the olfactory nerves. These nerves then carry the impulses to the brain thus energizing it, which in turn does the job of arousing the whole body. This influences the hormone levels of the body that regulate desires, passions, urges, emotions and memories. The subtle effect of the oils thus can control the senses and the body responses accordingly.

Recipe for meditation:

5 parts Sandalwood oil

3 parts Frankincense

2 parts Myrrh

Put the ingredients in a diffuser and put it in your room where you intend to meditate.

c) Sleep promotion and stress relief- Nothing can be compared to the soaking of the whole body in a tub full of lukewarm water with a few drops of essential oils in it after a full day of work. Aromatic candles with lavender scent can also be added to the scenario. The vapors penetrate the skin and reach the brain, where they stimulate the nerves and send down a cool, revitalizing and relaxing sensation all throughout the body.

Recipe to promote sleep:

4 drops lavender oil

Add 4 drops lavender oil to 1 teaspoon milk. Pour into warm bath water and soak or put them in a diffuser at bedtime.

Recipe to relieve stress:

1. 3 parts ylang ylang

2 parts Lavender oil

1 part Sandalwood oil

2. 4 drops of sandalwood oil

5 drops of lavender oil

Pour then in warm bath water and soak or put them in a diffuser at bedtime.

Lastly, do whatever is good for you. Take positive steps to reduce stress like laughing aloud with friends and family, going for an outing, pampering yourself one afternoon with a facial while your kids stay with their father or a babysitter or just soak yourself in the tub with some aromatic oils and rose petals after putting the kids to sleep. Determine the stress causing elements and be creative in finding solutions befitting your hectic schedule to not let them hamper your life. Put yourself to test and try to make these solutions work for you.

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Advice for working mothers: managing stress

Working mothers are subject to stresses from every facet of their lives. They deal with home and family issues as well as job stress on a daily basis. So, what can a working mom do to manage this stress load?

1. Prioritize

At home and at work, perform triage on your life. What things are critical and must be handled quickly and only by you? Do your critical and complex tasks first, leaving the mundane and boring for later; those trivial tasks are easier to do when you are tired or can be delegated to others later.

2. Identify your stresses

Everyone has tasks they enjoy and others that cause them stress or distress. The amount of stress a task causes is not always directly proportional to the difficulty of the task or the time the task actually takes. So, for someone cleaning a toilet may be more stressful than planning a week’s menus and grocery shopping. Identify your most stress-provoking tasks and work to remove them from your life or minimize their impact on you. Maybe a particular combination of events or tasks causes dissonance for you; work to deal with those issues one at a time. For example, get as many routine tasks out of the way as possible before handling a special event that needs extra attention.

3. Let some things slide

Once you’ve prioritized your life you will see that some things routinely fall to the bottom of the list. Ask yourself whether those things really even need to get done. Is it critical that you take homemade cookies to back-to-school night or would bakery bought offerings be just fine? Will anyone really care if you only dust on top of your refrigerator twice a year instead of twice a month? Carefully evaluate the time consuming tasks in your life and determine which you can do less frequently or not at all.

4. Make time for yourself

Yes, it sounds easier than it actually is, but this may be the most important thing a working mother can do. Schedule time into your week for pursuits that are just for you. While you may enjoy your work and the time you spend with your partner, it is important to do some things just because they feel good for you. This may be as simple as reading a book, taking a bubble bath or meeting a friend for dinner or may be a regular endeavor like taking a class or pursuing a hobby with a local club. Whatever you enjoy, make sure you carve out regular time to spend on yourself.

5. Exercise

Physical health has an immediate and clear impact on mental health. Exercise improves your physical health dramatically, provides you with greater energy and increases your longevity so you will be around for your kids and grandkids as long as possible.

6. Delegate

The mythical Super Mom may be able to do everything herself but most working women need help. Delegate tasks at home to your partner, to your kids and to hired help. In your job, delegate to your associates and team members.

7. Share

Talk to your friends and family about your stresses. For many women, simply talking to a sympathetic ear about their stress will alleviate much of it. Empathy is a salve on the busiest schedule and the most horrific day. Your support network will help you get through the worst situations.

8. Get enough sleep

When schedules are crazy, sleep is often the first thing to go. But, a good night’s sleep can make you more productive and prepare you to deal with difficult situations, so it is important to consistently carve out ample time to sleep.

9. Respond to the stress

Stress is inevitable, but the way you respond to stress is largely up to you. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing, meditation and yoga to help yourself stay calm and handle difficult situations. Get massages to keep your muscles relaxed; eat fresh healthy foods to keep your physical body in optimum condition. The best way to fight the stress is to be in ideal shape, mentally and physically.

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Stress management for women

Business trips, field trips and trips to the grocery store. Dry cleaners, clean laundry, cleaning house, house warmings and open house. Phone bills, billable hours, hours and hours of homework, and work to do at home. Today’s women have enough stress to put them over the edge. They are spread thin with responsibilities and stretched to the limit with the demands of family, career and home. They have been conditioned by traditional upbringing to conquer their household chores: cleanliness is next to godliness. Their hearts tell them to be a good wife, a good mother and a good daughter, and at the same time, their minds require that they be intellectually stimulated by a challenging career. In many cases, economics require that the woman hold a full-time job outside the home.

If you are one of these women and you feel as though you are about to self-destruct, you are not alone. Many women feel that they are doing a lot, but not doing any one thing well. Day by day, they are confronted with challenges that seem to pile up. There is an overwhelming sense of feeling incomplete, of not finishing what is started, and of being unsure of or feeling insecure about her accomplishments. They know that they take on too much, but they do not know how to make life’s hectic merry-go-round slow down enough to get off.

The following stress management tips for women are five steps toward taking control of your life. Begin with these, and once you complete them, the rest should fall into place.

1. Learn to say “No”.

There are only twenty four hours in a day. Eight hours are set aside for sleep, approximately two hours for eating, and if you work full time, add eight more hours for work and about one-and-a-half-hours for commuting. That does not leave much time for family and home.

If for you, the answer to the question, “are you on overload?” is “yes”, then learn to say “no”. Cut out unnecessary activities, limit your telephone calls, trim your social calendar, and do not feel compelled to chair every organization’s committee or event. Activities can certainly go on without you. Learn to share or delegate responsibilities when you cannot avoid them, by having confidence in the abilities of others.

Prioritize your time and put you and your family first. There will always be other opportunities for philanthropic work and for saving the world, but children only grow up once. Be choosy. If it is your child’s school that calls you to service, consider involvement there, on a reasonable level. Children love to see their parents take an active role in their education.

2. Make family time.

After learning to say “no” and clearing your calendar, set aside time that is for family only. Designate special family nights or even entire weekends when you can spend quality time together. Pop popcorn and have a movie-viewing marathon on a rainy day, or go out for pizza. Bake cookies and decorate them. Spend the day at the beach or sightseeing in the city. Plant a vegetable garden or build a snowman. Read a long book aloud together, one chapter per week. Host a board game tournament or go on an all day outing. Go camping or visit a museum. Take a long drive or a short vacation. Whatever the activity, be sure that it is limited to your immediate family, and that there is an opportunity for conversation, laughing and fun.

At home, turn off the telephones, the television, the pager and the computer, and make it an old-fashioned, low-tech family day. Family meetings provide a golden opportunity for exchanging ideas, expressing feelings and keeping in touch. In addition, you will reap the added benefit of communicating with your children, and they will appreciate the attention.

3. Set aside time for your spouse (or significant other).

Now that you have blocked out time for your family, be sure not to forget your spouse. While it is important to spend time with your children, it is also important to maintain your relationship as a couple. And, as long as you do devote enough quality time to your children, there should be no guilt in spending a little bit of time without them.

First, hire a babysitter. Be sure it is someone you trust, and that it is someone who is mature, responsible and capable. If you feel that your children are in good hands, you are more apt to relax and enjoy your time away from them.

Make a date with your spouse – a romantic night out on the town, complete with dining and dancing, or go out to dinner and a movie. Laughing is a big stress buster. Plan activities that are fun and that have giggling potential. Try candlelight bowling, miniature golfing, roller or ice skating, or a visit to an amusement park. If too much structure means added stress for you, then a spontaneous picnic in the park or a long drive are better options. The key here is just to spend some time alone with your spouse, and have an opportunity to talk, to laugh and to enjoy each other.

4. Indulge in “your” time.

When both your children and spouse are covered, it is finally time to think of you. Though connecting with your family is important, it is critical that you care for yourself, physically and emotionally. Make time for a relaxing manicure, pedicure, or therapeutic massage. Steamy, hot bubble baths are especially soothing. Add soft music and the glow and aroma of scented candles, and you are sure to release some of the day’s stress. Long walks are particularly thought provoking and calming, or join an exercise class for some strenuous stress relief. Sip flavored coffee or chamomile tea by a fireplace, learn to meditate, or treat yourself to reading a thick romance novel.

Appeal to your intellect, expand your knowledge and enrich your life by joining a book club. The same holds true for enrolling in a course. Just be sure to choose a subject that you enjoy, and does not take too much time away from your family (that would be two steps backward).

Participate in an occasional girls’ night out. Though you have already trimmed your social calendar, it is important to maintain some contact with your female friends. Women need other women for emotional support, and there is nothing like a best friend who understands you and confides in you.

5. Get rid of negative forces of energy.

After saying “no” and making time for yourself and your family, try to stay positive. Make this possible by getting rid of forces of energy that drain you. For instance, people who are continually negative or who turn to gossip can bring you down. This is a blow to self-esteem and is a time waster (and you already know how valuable time is). If suggestions to be more positive do not work, the best path is to gently distance yourself from these sources.

If the draining force of energy is not a person, it could be the feeling of being disorganized. When it is physical clutter that creates stress, the solution is sometimes as simple as hiring someone to clean or organize your home. In addition, it frees up time for you to spend with your family.

Finally, if the negative force is something inside of you, confront it and rid yourself of it. Commit to a diet and exercise program to shed unwanted pounds, work to overcome fears or attempt to mend a family feud. Once you remove these negative forces, you can gather up enough positive energy to move ahead.

Congratulations! By following the aforementioned tips, you should have eliminated a great deal of stress. It is now up to you to realize that it is unreasonable to expect perfection. Just sit back, relax, do your best, and take control of your life.

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Woman Stress: Stress Management Tips For Women

All women have their own method of relieving stress. Some methods are healthier than others. You may have adopted your stress relief strategies from your parents. You may have adopted it from your culture, such as yoga or Zen. Both of these methods are excellent ways of relieving stress.

Yoga is a great way to not only manage stress, but also strengthen and tone your body with its stretching and flexing. With Zen, on the other hand, you quiet your body and meditate, or focus your mind on a single thing. What you meditate on is determined by your own convictions.

Other tried and true woman stress management practices include deep breathing exercise, light physical exercise (such as taking a 15 minute walk), reading, getting out into nature, and listening to your favorite music. Some people may prefer their favorite recreational activity such as playing a round of bingo or a few rounds of bowling. Others choose less healthy activities such as binge eating, drinking alcohol, or smoking. While these methods of stress management may certainly reduce a person’s stress, they may cause other health problems. Other, less well-known, stress management methods include hypnosis or acupuncture, which may only be administered by a professional who can be easily found with an Internet or yellow pages search.

When you decide that relieving your stress level is what has to be done, consult your doctor. He or she will be able to determine whether your chosen method will be the best for you, and any adverse effects will then be discussed. Your physician may prescribe medication for you if you are at a risk for other problems. What you do not want to do is nothing at all. Continually high stress levels put people at risk for problems such as heart attack and stroke.

Maintaining a relaxed body and mind is the first step in being able to manage stress well. Everyone has stress in their lives, and there are just as many therapies to reduce that stress. Being able to adequately manage the stress in one’s life can help you improve your mental and physical health.

Mom stress occurs every day but little attention is given to it. Its just considered part of mothering. But there is help available because moms need stress relief just like everyone else. For new mom stress management tips visit: www.momstressrelief.com

By Jill Brennan

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Female Incontinence - Stress Incontinence in Women

Thousands of women experience urinary incontinence (UI), or the involuntary evacuation of urine. While for some women it may just be a few drops while coughing or running, others may experience a sudden and strong urge to urinate prior to eliminating a substantial amount of urine. Both symptoms can occur in many women. The effects of urinary incontinence can range from being mildly bothersome to being completely debilitating. Many women refrain from joining in many activities with their friends and family in the fear of embarrassing themselves publicly.

So, What Exactly is Stress Incontinence?

There are many types of urinary incontinence, and stress incontinence is the most common amongst them. Stress incontinence occurs when there is a leakage of urine when a sudden extra stress or pressure is put on the bladder. The leakage of urine occurs because the urethra and the muscles of the pelvic floor are not able to withstand the extra stress. There is a development of incontinence because of the weakening of the muscles of the pelvic floor. While most of the time it is only a few drops of urine, but sometimes quite a large amount of urine can be evacuated.

Urine loss due to stress incontinence occurs the most when the afflicted individual laughs, coughs, or exercises, where running or jumping is involved.

What are the Causes of Stress Incontinence?

Female stress incontinence occurs mostly due to the weakening of the muscles of the pelvic floor, which in turn is generally because of childbirth. The muscles of the pelvic floor are those that that occur under the rectum and bladder. Women who have had children are more prone to stress incontinence. It also occurs more commonly due to advancing age because of the muscles getting weaker, especially after menopause. Women who are overweight are also usually prone to stress incontinence.

How can Stress Incontinence be Treated?

Usually, the first treatment involves strengthening the muscles of the pelvic floor by doing pelvic floor exercises. Almost six out of ten female stress incontinence cases can be improved or cured via this treatment.

In some cases, apart from the exercises, medication may also be advised. And in case other treatments do not provide the results and if the problem continues, then surgery may also be advised.

How to do the Pelvic Floor Strengthening Exercises?

First of all, the correct muscles should be exercised. You may be referred to a physiotherapist or a continence advisor by your doctor to get advice on how to do the exercises.

Here is how you do the pelvic floor exercises:

* Start by sitting in a chair keeping your knees a little apart. Then squeeze the muscle that is just on top of the anus’ entrance. When you squeeze it you will feel a certain amount of movement in it. Try not to move your legs or buttocks.

* Next, try imagining as if you are passing urine and attempting to halt the flow. In this exercise you will be using a slightly different part of the muscles of the pelvic floor as compared to the previous exercise. In this, you will be strengthening the muscles that are towards the front.

These exercises must be done every day. After a few weeks, you will find the pelvic floor muscles becoming stronger. Although it will take about 8-20 weeks for most of the improvement to take place, after which time you could find yourself cured of stress incontinence. It is advisable to continue doing these exercises for the rest of your life.

Medication for Curing Stress Incontinence in Women

Duloxetine is a drug that is used for treating depression. However, it was discovered that it was also effective against stress incontinence. It works by interfering with the effects of certain chemicals that help in transmitting nerve impulses to various muscles, which results in helping the muscles that surround the urethra contract more strongly.

According to a study, it was shown that in six out of ten women who were prescribed duloxetine, the incidences of urine evacuation were halved in comparison to the time before they had taken the medication. Hence, although duloxetine on its own may not cure the problem, but it may be helpful in alleviating the condition to a certain extent. But if duloxetine is combined with the pelvic floor strengthening exercises, it probably will have higher chances of curing stress incontinence.

Surgery to Treat Female Stress Incontinence

There are several surgical methods of treating stress incontinence. Surgery is usually advised when the treatments mentioned above have not helped. The surgical methods are used to support or tighten the structures and muscles under the bladder. These surgical methods are usually successful in curing the condition.

Is there a Way to Prevent Stress Incontinence?

It is thought that if women do pelvic floor strengthening exercises after having a baby, then they are less likely to develop stress incontinence.

By Rita Putatunda

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