Working Mothers Miss Out on Children's Growth
The icon for women of the 1950s was the domesticated housewife and mother who cooked, cleaned, and sewed all while wearing the latest fashions topped with that disillusioned beaming smile. Fast forward to the media icon for women of the 21st century. The vogue woman of today stands tall and proud in her black Armani suite while possessing the role as career woman and mother, wife, domestic organizer all while wearing the latest fashions topped with that ‘I’ve made it’ (disillusioned) smile. The two images have more in common than most would want to admit being generations apart. Yet, the main thing that has really changed for the modern woman is that fact that her workload has doubled from the duality of her role. The effects of this duality are being felt through stress, guilt and pure unfairness.
What do the stats say?
A CBS News polled in April 2006 that 68% of women see a conflict between working and raising a family. It is no wonder since large amounts of stress stem from a woman’s professional career in collaboration with her role as housekeeper and mother. A study in 1997 by the Canadian Review of Sociology and Anthropology found, “Stress appears to be strongly related to being employed outside the home and is more strongly felt by women working more hours, especially those working full-time.”1
Eight out of ten women would rather stay at home with their children according to an article by Charlotte Gill published in The Daily Mail 2006. 2 The research also found that 78% were likely to give up work to be with their children if money were not an issue. The 2001 U.S. Current Population Survey found that twice as many women opted for fewer office hours than men. Lonnie Golden, Penn State University economist and the lead author for this study, said in a 2007 MSNBC article by Jeanna Bryner, More Women Want to Cut Work Hours, that the inflexibility factor “can make it nearly impossible for some women to take care of household responsibilities while maintaining a career.”
The Female Lifestyle Survey of Great Britain 2004 found that 86% of full time working women did most of the housework and 77% did most of the child rearing.
Real views from real life
“You miss so much if you’re a working mum. Even now, I feel I miss out on a lot of Jessica’s [her daughter aged nine] life…Too much is definitely expected of women – the pristine house, perfect children and a career, whereas men can do what they like. They have it a lot easier,” said Amy Ross, 28, from Erskine, Renfrewshire in an article by Lindsay Clydesdale in The Daily Record 2005. 3
Margi Conklin, editor for New Woman magazine, said in the same article, “There is a fundamental shift in young women’s attitudes, They’ve watched their own mothers failing to ‘have-it-all’ and have decided they don’t want it.” Conklin also points out that the new direction for women is aimed at happiness and downshifting. “The age of superwoman who wants to be the world’s best mother, wife and boss is dead.”
Women are no longer buying into the identity of the superwoman role just as their mother’s dethroned the 1950s identity of the domestic queen. Many women are doing it all and doing it all very well. Women that are focused on whether they could ‘do it all’ are not considering if they should. The ‘do it all’ theology has come with a cost of stress, unhappiness, and exhaustion. Perhaps ‘doing it all’ is not ‘it’ after all.
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